[COLOR=crimson]But I've been so darn depressed! I'm a single Mom of two teenagers and I've been feeling stressed-out for a very long time, which I hold responsible for my inability to lose weight because everytime I feel overwhelmed I fall off the wagon.
With much struggle, I re-started LCing the day after X'mas, following a 3-mo. hiatus. Lost 7 lbs. during induction then was stalled for over one month, even gained 2 lbs. (but I chose to think that my lazy thyroid and my strength training workout were responsible for). Recently, I intentionally "got off" the diet for two days and came back on a higher carb level, and after 5 days lost 1 lb. (just last Wednesday) so I thought everything was under control. Then, in a matter of two days a string of negative events drove the stress level way up and plunged me in the "dumps". Driven by cravings, I "stretched" the diet including S/F ice cream, one or two pieces of dark chocolate, peanut butter, a lot of cheese, and didn't drink enough water. To make the story short,
Sunday night my blood pressure was kinda high at 140/85 and I'd gained 3 lbs.
Yesterday I was even more depressed, everything seemed to be going wrong
. So tonight I had a bowl of cream of brown rice, with milk and some honey (used artificial sweetener to keep that at a minimum).
I was SO determined to stay on track this time since that was the only area of my life where I felt I had ANY control as, for instance, I've been suffering from insomnia for 18 mo., can't even work. Perhaps I still haven't lost ALL control since I chose to have cream of rice instead of the cream of wheat (wheat's really bad for me) I fixed for my children, and I used mostly artificial sweetener in it. I'm still thinking of my health first and maybe I haven't done real damage... I guess I just want somebody to reassure me that I'm not a lost case
. The only friend I have since I moved here 4 years ago, doesn't understand LC (or hardly anything in my life for that matter, she's like 18 years younger!).
My self-esteem is very low right now
. Any words of encouragement will be greatly appreciated. Perhaps some may think "What's the big deal? She only has 20 lbs. to lose" the big deal is that I've been trying to go back to my normal weight for 6 years, and during 2000 I got to 151 lbs. and I'm only 5'1". Since my maternal grandmother became obese after she had her 4th child, one of my aunts is pretty heavy, and my older sister has struggled with her weight all her life, I always think it's in my genes and all I have to do is stop trying and I'll be big as a house. So, I feel what I've managed to do all these years is to keep myself from getting bigger, yet I'm not ready to be content with just that, I WANT to be slim again! I still have plenty of time to reach goal as the only time limit I've set is for my next birthday which is in September.
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Cheated
Still lost a pound
When I was successful at low carbing about 4 yrs. ago, instead of saying I cheated I just told myself that I added more carbs that day then I wanted to. I knew I could adjust the carb level and continue on w/this woe. I didn't tell myself that I went "off the diet" or that I had to "start over", just that I had to tweak. It's hard to stop beating up on yourself, but I know that when I do I am likely to quit. Be gentle with yourself ...There will be many ups and downs over the many years you have left to "do" low carb. Beating up on yourself makes the downs so much worse. Please remember these words to throw back at me when I do the same thing.
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