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  #1   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 08:37
LorelaiS's Avatar
LorelaiS LorelaiS is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 365
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 235/225/150 Female 5 ft. 5 in.
BF:
Progress: 12%
Location: Vermont, USA
Unhappy She had me in tears even though I knew she was wrong.

I was hanging out in a chat room on a diabetes support site. As back ground, I've been trying to find a work around for a health problem that only seems to calm down if I greatly increase the amount of carbs I'm eating. So, I was looking to see if there was anybody else on the site I was on who experienced similar and got over it.

Anyway, this woman got on the chat (she wasn't even there for my original post). And reamed me up and down about how the ONLY fuel for the human body is glucose and that I needed to eat at least 30g carb per meal and 15g per snack. About how Low Carb diets always fail eventually and that they always make the body think it's starving. She explained to me that all ketones are bad and once they had no more fat to work on they would always start to eat my muscles. She was so vehement in her delivery and wouldn't listen to a single thing I had said. She simply assumed that I couldn't possibly have done as much "research" as she had.

I know that most of what she told me was wrong but it had me in tears anyway. I don't know if it's because she was so far up on her soapbox that I felt helpless to get her to stop or what.

I know I should have just dropped out of the chat but it's a place where MOST of the people I talk to are supportive and I've never had an experience like that before.

I wanted to explain that you can find research to back up absolutely every point of view on the internet. And that without seeing exactly what she'd done that I couldn't give credence to any of it. She offered to explain to me the science of glucose metabolism. She said Bernstein is a hack.

How does one measly little person cause so much distress. It's so hard to hear that the thing that you believe to be good for you might even possibly be bad even if in your heart you know it isn't true.

Please help me calm down, Please remind me that I'm on the right path.
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  #2   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 09:01
Hairballz's Avatar
Hairballz Hairballz is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 601
 
Plan: Atkins / M&E
Stats: 000/000/000 Female 5'6"
BF:
Progress:
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One of the truths I'm trying to embrace in my personal journey is "different isn't bad, it's just different." And that generally speaking most people just don't know what to do with anything they perceive as different. Different scares people, and when we are frightened we most often react in anger or defensiveness.

The person attacking you is terrified. Read that sentence again and absorb it. Terrified. Because she cannot deal with something like LC that is so different than what she believes. Do a Google search and you'll have no trouble finding mindless antiLC rants based in absolutely nothing other than fear that what we have been taught, that which we have embraced might be wrong! And no trouble finding rants about any number of topics based in the same fear.

I think it's all any of us can do to decide for ourselves, based on our own experience, what is right and good for us...and to continually remind ourselves that different isn't wrong. Your post said you know LC is right for you. So who cares if it isn't for that blog's Troll? You don't even know her/him. If it were someone you knew and respected, that's takes more personal power to push aside. This was a Troll with an attitude and you scared her to death.

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" (Dr. Seuss)
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  #3   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 09:13
JAnn's Avatar
JAnn JAnn is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 4,039
 
Plan: LC/GF/IF
Stats: 237.0/223.6/174.6 Female 5 ft 10 in
BF:42%.
Progress: 21%
Location: Central Arizona
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I've never experienced anything like that but when I'm down and questioning my food lifestyle I go the the success section of this forum and read how successful other have been. I also have favorite posters that are really up on the latest science of LCHF. I also go to Mark's Daily Apple for re-assurance although I'm not strictly paleo.

Throughout life we occasionally come across a know-it-all who is really a no-it-not with an ego that cannot be reasoned with. Let her comments fly away. You've chosen a good lifestyle, you just need to work it like you are.

On a note: Because of adrenal problems I needed to keep my carbs at 50 a day. To keep losing, I had to monitor my calories too. It is doable.

Yes, you are on the right path.
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  #4   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 09:34
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LorelaiS
I was hanging out in a chat room on a diabetes support site. As back ground, I've been trying to find a work around for a health problem that only seems to calm down if I greatly increase the amount of carbs I'm eating. So, I was looking to see if there was anybody else on the site I was on who experienced similar and got over it.

Anyway, this woman got on the chat (she wasn't even there for my original post). And reamed me up and down about how the ONLY fuel for the human body is glucose and that I needed to eat at least 30g carb per meal and 15g per snack. About how Low Carb diets always fail eventually and that they always make the body think it's starving. She explained to me that all ketones are bad and once they had no more fat to work on they would always start to eat my muscles. She was so vehement in her delivery and wouldn't listen to a single thing I had said. She simply assumed that I couldn't possibly have done as much "research" as she had.

I know that most of what she told me was wrong but it had me in tears anyway. I don't know if it's because she was so far up on her soapbox that I felt helpless to get her to stop or what.

I know I should have just dropped out of the chat but it's a place where MOST of the people I talk to are supportive and I've never had an experience like that before.

I wanted to explain that you can find research to back up absolutely every point of view on the internet. And that without seeing exactly what she'd done that I couldn't give credence to any of it. She offered to explain to me the science of glucose metabolism. She said Bernstein is a hack.

How does one measly little person cause so much distress. It's so hard to hear that the thing that you believe to be good for you might even possibly be bad even if in your heart you know it isn't true.

Please help me calm down, Please remind me that I'm on the right path.

OK, take a few deep breaths and help yourself to calm down. I think that what Hairballz said about that person being terrified has merit.

At the same time, you sound like you feel bullied and that is something for you to look at about yourself. IMO, this is about your level of self confidence and self esteem. Have faith in yourself and build on it each day.

Please know that you are doing what you think and feel is right for you and your body. I actually feel sorry for that lady because she'll never know what you will know as you learn to heal your body by eating this way and not her way.

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  #5   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 10:22
ojoj's Avatar
ojoj ojoj is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,184
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 210/126/127 Female 5ft 7in
BF:
Progress: 101%
Location: South of England
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Just ask how much the pharmaceutical industry are paying her for her nonsense and dont let it get to you. Bullies only bully if people let them - so dont. You know the truth lol !!!!!

Jo xxx
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  #6   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 11:20
LorelaiS's Avatar
LorelaiS LorelaiS is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 365
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 235/225/150 Female 5 ft. 5 in.
BF:
Progress: 12%
Location: Vermont, USA
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Thank you all so much. It's true I'm very easy to bully right now. My self esteem is completely gone due to health issues that docs seem unwilling to help with.

I believe I have adrenal or thyroid issues too but the few tests I've managed to get them to run are always in normal range. And then they say here have a statin.

I did recognize as this person with diabetes talked about bolising up and eating cake at a party that maybe she was justifying eating how she wanted. I truly do not believe everyone who's diabetic cannot control without drugs.
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  #7   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 11:28
ojoj's Avatar
ojoj ojoj is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,184
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 210/126/127 Female 5ft 7in
BF:
Progress: 101%
Location: South of England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LorelaiS
Thank you all so much. It's true I'm very easy to bully right now. My self esteem is completely gone due to health issues that docs seem unwilling to help with.

I believe I have adrenal or thyroid issues too but the few tests I've managed to get them to run are always in normal range. And then they say here have a statin.

I did recognize as this person with diabetes talked about bolising up and eating cake at a party that maybe she was justifying eating how she wanted. I truly do not believe everyone who's diabetic cannot control without drugs.


I was told by my doctor 11 years ago that I was insulin resistant and given a "healthy eating diet" and told to come back after 6 weeks to discuss metformin/medication - I went on atkins instead and didnt go back to the doctor til a year later and there was no mention of insulin resistance then. He must told me my cholesterol was too low !!!!

As for self esteem issues???? You are no worse or better than anyone else on this planet and everyone has insecurity/esteem issues, some just show it by throwing their weight around and stepping on others to lift themselves up! Hold your head up know that you're the same as everyone else and dont take "the brown stuff" from anyone lol!!!!


Jo xxx
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  #8   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 12:19
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LorelaiS
Thank you all so much. It's true I'm very easy to bully right now. My self esteem is completely gone due to health issues that docs seem unwilling to help with.

I believe I have adrenal or thyroid issues too but the few tests I've managed to get them to run are always in normal range. And then they say here have a statin.

I did recognize as this person with diabetes talked about bolising up and eating cake at a party that maybe she was justifying eating how she wanted. I truly do not believe everyone who's diabetic cannot control without drugs.

If you think that you may have thyroid issues, have you heard of the stopthethyroidmadness.com web site? I just started reading there the other day and have purchased a supplement to help me.
Yes, if she is still using meds to control her diabetes, then she hasn't seen 'the way' ...yet! You have so good for you!
An old friend of mine is a type 2 and uses injections so that she can eat what she wants. It drove me batty to hear her admit to that. we can't talk any longer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ojoj
As for self esteem issues???? You are no worse or better than anyone else on this planet and everyone has insecurity/esteem issues, some just show it by throwing their weight around and stepping on others to lift themselves up! Hold your head up know that you're the same as everyone else and dont take "the brown stuff" from anyone lol!!!!
Really? some of us have worse issues in this arena than others. You would do well to work on your own empathy.
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  #9   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 12:24
ojoj's Avatar
ojoj ojoj is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,184
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 210/126/127 Female 5ft 7in
BF:
Progress: 101%
Location: South of England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Judynyc

Really? some of us have worse issues in this arena than others. You would do well to work on your own empathy.
Why??? How do you know??? and yes, some of us have worse and better...... but so does everyone else, it helps to know that we're not the only ones doesnt it! At least we're all living in safety, with homes, mod cons, no fear, friends and families - two thirds of the world arent!

I do empathy, but I admit I'm not good at sympathy

Jo xxx
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  #10   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 12:45
pazia pazia is offline
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Posts: 374
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 00/00/00 Female 00
BF:
Progress:
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It's essential not to blame yourself or feel like you did something wrong when you're the target of a verbal attack like that. Take care of yourself and your feelings now. It's all too easy to get caught up in a snare like that, like a deer in the headlights, you know it's bad but you're just not moving out of the way.

But also be more aware of how you might set yourself up for situations like this; sometimes just being too open or receptive can seem like an invitation to be told what to do by bullies, that's what they pick up on. So be more guarded, you have the strength to be self-protective even if you're not feeling good about things now. And your system is probably stressed so you're not as clear as you might be otherwise.

And as mentioned above about "plants," you can't be too suspicious of people who attack/bully; they often have their own vested interests.
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  #11   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 13:55
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ojoj
Why??? How do you know??? and yes, some of us have worse and better...... but so does everyone else, it helps to know that we're not the only ones doesnt it! At least we're all living in safety, with homes, mod cons, no fear, friends and families - two thirds of the world arent!

I do empathy, but I admit I'm not good at sympathy

Jo xxx

You have given this response on many occasions and in my opinion, misses the point.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy
Quote:
Empathy is the capacity to recognize emotions that are being experienced by another sentient or fictional being. One may need to have a certain amount of empathy before being able to experience accurate sympathy or compassion. The English word was coined in 1909 by the psychologist Edward B. Titchener in an attempt to translate the German word "Einfühlungsvermögen", a new phenomenon, explored at the end of 19th century mainly by philosopher Theodor Lipps. It was later re-translated into the German language as "Empathie", and is still in use there.


You say you have trouble with being sympathetic and that goes hand in hand with being able to empathize.
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  #12   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 14:02
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Sympathy

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Quote:
For other uses, see Sympathy (disambiguation).

Sympathy (from the Greek words syn "together" and pathos "feeling" which means "fellow-feeling") is the perception, understanding, and reaction to the distress or need of another human being.[1] This empathic concern is driven by a switch in viewpoint, from a personal perspective to the perspective of another group or individual who is in need. Empathy and sympathy are often used interchangeably. Sympathy is a feeling, but the two terms have distinct origins and meanings.[2] Empathy refers to the understanding and sharing of a specific emotional state with another person. Sympathy does not require the sharing of the same emotional state. Instead, sympathy is a concern for the well-being of another. Although sympathy may begin with empathizing with the same emotion another person is feeling, empathy can be extended to other emotional states.
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  #13   ^
Old Sun, May-11-14, 14:10
ojoj's Avatar
ojoj ojoj is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,184
 
Plan: atkins
Stats: 210/126/127 Female 5ft 7in
BF:
Progress: 101%
Location: South of England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Judynyc
Sympathy

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


I have enough empathy to stick to the topic rather than discuss my attitude - which is one of encouragement, rather than pity. Thats just me!!

So back to the conversation in hand, rather than pick holes in my personality!

Jo xxx
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  #14   ^
Old Sat, May-31-14, 20:17
lovinita's Avatar
lovinita lovinita is offline
Triple digit loss
Posts: 927
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstien
Stats: 352/206.8/175 Female 5'7
BF:
Progress: 82%
Location: Boston, MA
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2 week old thread I know but I wanted to comment cause i in general could relate being the people pleaser I use to be.

I always doubted myself and my confidence was low on many levels in general in life as a person on a variety of issues.

Then, I watched people around me. realizing, my weakness with my weight issue shows on the outside. but some of these people's issues maybe concealed or accepted and not really show for the world to see.

Then I started getting pissed about the judgment. judgment like they understood, or new what it took when they never where in my shoes. Assumptions that I was being lazy, weakminded, lacked will power.

The I started getting angry, saying who gives them the right to pass judgment on what I am doing.

One example is when I found LCing, I got the attitude from my own dr.s telling me it wasn't sustainable and it wouldn't work. The same dr. from the same instution that had me go from insulin resistance to type 2 diabetes on their guidelines and medicines. Claiming they know what is best for me, when they couldn't help me to being with.

Meanwhile over many different issues in my life, I started questioning who said I have to get it right on the first try. Who the heck made that rule. As if I am god and I can wave my magic wand and make it all be okay.

Then I started fighting back and establishing my boundaries not just in weight but on a variety of issues. The weight/body self esteem issue was just a symptom of a larger issue of lack of sense of self (knowing myself) and lack in confidence in myself.

Lack of confidence in myself wasn't about being right as I discovered. it was more about being strong enough to walk my path and to allow and accept I will make mistakes but knowing even when I do I will just pick myself up and continue going along figuring out my way. It was about knowing, that I would figure my way through things.

Lack of knowing myself, is about all those messed up perceptions we are taught about what makes us a worthy human being. Who the heck died and made everyone else around me king about "me".

Anyway, I agree with judy this is a symptom of a larger issue. Something that needs to be pealed back in layers. Discovering all the areas you are giving your own power away.

To me that is all it is. We are taught many of us to hand our power over to external influences as if they know what is best for us. When we should be listening, discerning and choosing whether or not those external influences have any merit or points to their arguments.

We are the judge and jury about whether they are full of marlky or not. Not the other way around.
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  #15   ^
Old Sun, Jun-01-14, 10:27
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovinita
this is a symptom of a larger issue. Something that needs to be pealed back in layers. Discovering all the areas you are giving your own power away.

To me that is all it is. We are taught many of us to hand our power over to external influences as if they know what is best for us. When we should be listening, discerning and choosing whether or not those external influences have any merit or points to their arguments.

We are the judge and jury about whether they are full of malarky or not. Not the other way around.


Nicely said!
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