I was on track to be in "Onderland" for Christmas, I even went as far as making new words for "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" that I was going to post here for a celebration.... but I'm not sure, in fact I am very sure it won't happen. That makes me so sad...

I have been on program since January 3rd this year and haven't faltered. I have been more focused than I ever imagined possible, and the results are there. I am so close, yet so far away.

Normally, I am crazy about Christmas and go all out with decorating, entertaining, baking... This year it was everything I could do to get the tree up. I attribute part of that "humbug" thing to having a DIL who believes that I am the MIL from hell. She in unwavering in her decision to only spend Christmas day with her family, (and has for the past many years). Once again her family gets to enjoy the magic of Christmas with the grandchildren while my husband and I are left fending for ourselves. I digress....

I have been so down - I can't control what DIL does, but I can control my WOE to reach that elusive goal of Onderland. A couple of weeks ago I was two pounds away, and since then the scale has been moving from 202 to 206 to 204 and everything in between. I have been 100% on program and nothing is happening. History tells me that when I complain here, things change, so here's hoping...

Please help me stay motivated and put that smile back on my face. Last night I had a dream that I stepped on the scale and it was 196.5. I was so happy I cried my eyes out. This is obsessing me even in my sleep!

My DH is so supportive, as are my friends, and there is no reason for me to feel so down, but I do. Any guidance, help and encouragement is so appreciated.

Wishing you all the best of the holiday season!

Forgive me for jumping in, we don't know each other at all, but I just want to encourage you to let yourself mourn the fact that you are not able to share Christmas with your grandkids -- that is a reason to feel down, and then to pick yourself up, and rather than hang out together and feel down, maybe do something memorable together--like something my family used to do together, because my father was atheistic and wouldn't step foot in church, we went on Christmas and Easter as a family to a soup kitchen and chopped veggies for the soup. There are alot of Church of the Brethren or Mennonite Churches in Ontario, they often have soup kitchens....just an idea! Do something for some other kids and families....Well, thinking of you, and sending you positive thoughts.

Holiday season is usually when most people feel discouraged and a bit depressed. The fact that you don't get along so well with your DIL doesn't help much either. I'm sure that by now you've got your motivation back and you're looking forward for springtime. I really admire you for losing so much weight and being so determined to reach your goal.

Keep going!