i always compare myself with other people around me... i don'tsee my self as fat, but i hate the shape of my body... other people who weigh more than me look fantastic..
I on the other hand have huge shoulders, huge calves (like a football player), small boobs... i look short and stubby..
my weight is ideal for my height, but i really don't look good at all! i work out, but the way i look hasn't changed too much.. and when i see so many pretty girls, i get so upset.. i just start to give up and eat so many junk food... i don't even go shopping, hoping that i would fit into a smaller size some time soon.. i always tell myself that i could fit into that in about a month or so, so i should just buy it then... but my size doesn't change and it frustrates me so much... i'm so upset.. i cry when i see so many pretty and lean girls walk by... why couldn't i been born with such beautiful body? i feel as if i'm being punished.. i don't know why../ what did i do wrong???

You know, maybe you need to work on accepting yourself and seeing the positives. I know what you mean about seeing other women. For me it was seeing women even bigger than I am with such pretty leggs, calfs and ankles. I, too, have goalers legs. But you know what? They are strong legs.

Years ago I started looking in a full length mirror to get used to my body and to pick out the parts of me that I liked. This went a long way toward helping me to accept me and my body. It affirmed my right to life and to take up space and to live that life.

Perhaps in the gym you can concentrate on flexibility and body shaping. And finding clothes, however difficult, that flatter your figure. I admire those with broad shoulders. I have very narrow shoulders and my clothes are always falling off of me. See we all envy someone else for something.

I think we have to accept and value ourselves whereever we are and all along the journey.

Kokonut, I totally know what you mean. I'm 5'1", practically non-existant breasts (34B) & I have huge calves (14" standing), so you're not alone. Built like a guy, broad shoulders & strong upper body, naturally. I hated my body for while but, I've learned to accept it, and I'm proud of it. Alot of people bust their ass to get a strong body & I was born with one. You gotta look it that way.

Whenever I see women heavier than me, I think, "Wow, she is so pretty for her weight." then I wish I was pretty for mine. I have the broad shoulder thing, and it really gets to me. My biggest peeve is my back. At the base of my neck, I have back fat, and I have convinced myself it is a Quasimodo hump.

We are always more critical of ourselves. I think we see others as exotic and different, and better than what we see in the mirror every morning. This should change.

When I was thin, I wanted everyone to take my picture (I was an adolescent), now every picture makes me feel so fat and ugly. I am not sure, but I had almost convinced myself that the camera adds like 50 pounds. Then one day, I realized I was big...

Like, I remember crying when I bought my first size 11 jeans. Now, I am lucky if I can keep my 14s buttoned all day, (and they are stretch jeans, so I am really a 16). That is so unlike the size 7 I was when I met my husband six years ago.

Ugh, I guess this is probably not helping cheer you or anyone up. But I bet I can...
This is why we have sought out a plan. If we were lazy and not doing anything about it, then we should be miserable. I believe in improvement, and even remembering to say hi to someone I don't know or smiling at a stranger on the street gives me the hope to continue feeling good about who I am on the inside.



So,

Maria, I really think you need some counselling with a therapist that deals with body image and eating disorder issues or visiting an OA group for a couple of meetings. This is something that is very difficult to tackle on your own without help. Thinking that you have done something wrong and are being punished by having the body you have is part of being sick. I know that I and others on this forum suggested this to you before.

I've thought about this all day since reading it this morning.

Every one of us posesses unique qualities that set us apart from everyone else. It doesn't make us better or worse than anyone else, just different. These qualities are what we have to celebrate, be grateful for and share with those around us.

How we gain our sense of self worth is by worthy actions, thoughts and deeds. Not because you want someone else to think you are fabulous and giving, but just because it is a good and selfless thing to do. All of us are very rich with attributes. It costs nothing to give them away, and the goodwill you get back is tenfold, so you have even more to spread around.

What you look like makes no difference to your self worth. You can lose fat, shape and tone. You can look great, but looking great is no cure for feeling worthless.

I'm wondering right now if Mother Theresa ever worried about her body. Did she ever think "I'm feeling so fat today! Think I'll just stay in and mope around about it!"

It's something to really think about.

Karen

hi everyone...
i appreciate your replies..
.. It' s so hard to live in a society where "thin" is in.... i'm 18, and it's impossible to get through a day without thinking about my weight, how i look... because when we're this young, many people can judge you by the way you look....
i want to have fun.. i want to go out without standing in front of a mirror upset... if i lose weight, wouldn't it go away?
i know most of you are older than me... and i know with age comes wisdom and knowledge... but ... i can't see the way some of you see it, because i haven't passed this phase of my life yet..
i know all of you are trying to help me get passed this disgusting feeling about myself.. but, it's making me feel even worse.. i feel stupid for having such thoughts about myself, but no matter how hard i try not to compare myself with other people, i just can't help it.,.. i try to close my eyes for couple minutes so i don't have to look at people walking around where i work.. i tell myself that i'm pretty and not fat... but when i hear my guy friends talk about hot girls who aren't very pretty but have awesome bodies, i wish i could be like them... to be called "hot", "pretty" instead of "nice" "funny" would be great....
sorry for babbling about nothing... . sometimes i get carried away...