What is wrong w/ me? Why is this so hard and so important? I feel like I've been going in circles lately. I used to weigh myself everyday. Any change and I'd analyze why it happened. Finally I stopped doing that but now I measure myself! It's so weird. I'm so weird. I had lost an inch or so off my hips and thighs and waist and then today I measured myself and I have gained almost all of it back. Maybe it's just b/c I'm PMSing but I don't think so. I had too much to drink on New Year's and at like 4 in the morning I devoured junk food from 7-11 without even thinking.
I want to cry but I can't. Why am I so sad? I feel so weak and retarded b/c I can't even control my own body....
I know I'm making progress though, compared to how I used to be...I did drugs (mostly speed) during my whole high school career. I guess after I quit I replaced drugs with food. I was anoreic, bulimic, and now I'm just struggling to loose the weight I've gained and feel healthy again. It's all grey out, I like it that way now, it fits my mood.
I'm so upset that I gained back what I lost this past week. Maybe it's just from water weight or something or my period but I don't thnk so.

Ok, take a deep breath, and read on.

First off, the above quote from your post is most certainly the reason why your weight/measurements are off. You can't expect to drink alcohol and eat junk food and get the results you are looking for.

Secondly, I went back and read your journal. Your carb levels are closer to 10 not 20, and from the few meals you've posted, you aren't eating enough vegetables or protein.

Now that the exams and holidays are over it's time for a fresh start. Pick up your copy of Atkins and refresh yourself on the right foods to eat and the right way to approach this. You'll have better luck if you eat closer to the way the plan is written.

Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees, especially if things are looking grey and glum. It's easy to get grey and glum after the holidays. Here's your chance to start fresh and start seeing results. Hang in there. We're all in this together!

Hi Kaela

"What is wrong w/ me? Why is this so hard and so important? I feel like I've been going in circles lately. I used to weigh myself everyday. Any change and I'd analyze why it happened. Finally I stopped doing that but now I measure myself! It's so weird. I'm so weird. I had lost an inch or so off my hips and thighs and waist and then today I measured myself and I have gained almost all of it back. Maybe it's just b/c I'm PMSing but I don't .."

" want to cry but I can't. Why am I so sad? I feel so weak and retarded b/c I can't even control my own body....
I know I'm making progress though, compared to how I used to be...I did drugs (mostly speed) during my whole high school career. I guess after I quit I replaced drugs with food"


Are we twins?

Been where you are too many times, but thank the Lord that today my life is much better. Some months PMS really hits me hard and other months it's mild. I also gain 2 or 3 pounds during my period and I just feel absolutely fat and ugly even though I'm not. Strange what hormones can do.

Hang in there...."this too shall pass"

Thank you guys, you're right Angela. I should stick to the plan. I guess I thiught I could get away with cheating. I'm going to look through Protein Power tonight and refresh myself on everything.
Thanky you Nems for reminding me that "this too shall pass". Periods suck lol.