Yes, my mental image is fairly messed up lately. I'm not sure why.

When I was 13 years old my Mother told me that if I gained 10# that no one would ever love me. That really set me off on eating disorders.
When I was 20 something I gained a lot of weight and ended up being 182#. At that weight , at my Cousins wedding my drunk Father said very loud how discussed he was at me. I stopped eating that day and for the next 6 month lost weigh, lost most of my hair and looked like an old lady. After that I would binge and purge for the next 45 years.
All I saw when I looked in the mirror was someone looking back that wasn't ever going to be loved.
For the past year now I finally do have a better body image but it took a lot of work to get where I am today. I have my eating disorder under control finally.

Thank you, earthwalke, for sharing your story. I am constantly amazed at how people can say such cruel things, especially to the young and vulnerable. You make me want to just go hug the little girl you used to be! How amazingly wonderful that you have overcome the results of their thoughtless behavior and taken charge of your health. We all know that wasn't easy to do, so big congratulations on your success.

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What you wrote back to me makes me want to give you a hug. Thank you, you have put a big smile on my face

Thank you back! Your experience and your conquering of it should inspire many people.

I'm not at my goal weight, but I remember in high-school I lost around 70 kg. It was incredibly hard to accept the new me. One night I couldn't sleep because I was constantly going to the mirror to check if it was true. I would undress, look in the mirror, dress back, believe it for a few minutes, then think again it can't be true, so I repeated the cycle for hours.. It was very confusing, it felt like I wasn't myself anymore, like someone else was having control over my body. I once read in a book that the mind needs around 3 months after you achieve your goal to accustom with the new body. Bullshit! I couldn't. Not even after a year. Do I need to say I've regained it? It was horrible!

I get this and there are days when I look at myself and say "fatty" and I am always looking for someone to tell me I am thin. Guess what? NOone says it anymore now that I am at a normal weight, but I still feel like I need to lose at least 5 lbs.

I am learning to accept myself as I am and low carbing helps for me. I will always have an ED- it doesn't go away. However, if I can manage it and not let it control my life, I am content with that.

Sometimes it is frustrating when I was 110 and felt better in many ways. I am heavier now and it can be a struggle to let go of the number.

Exercise helps. Meditating. Affirmations. Whatever it takes.

OH my gosh YES! This! Yes!

I've held up my new size 9 jeans (single digits!? omg? first time ever) and think "Huh? How do those fit over MY thunder thighs and a**?" "This can't be right, are they made of SPANDEX???" But no, they're normal jeans.

I always choose clothes that are too big. And lol, sometimes I OVER compensate by thinking "no, not fat" and buy a shirt that's too small. (I shop a lot at flea markets, no dressing rooms)

I still make fat-girl jokes about myself and my co-workers tell me that I'm NOT fat anymore but I secretly don't believe them.

I think part of it is that my composition hasn't changed THAT much and the flabby skin doesn't help. It's like I'm the same as the 230 pound me was, just a smaller version, still floppy and flabby and full of cellulite. Exercise helped some but I'm still a horror show when nekkid.

Pictures are a lot more fun these days though!

Lindystar-
I reached my original goal in December of 2009. Over time, my skin has "bounced back" much more than I ever expected it would. I've added exercise in the last year but there was already improvement b/f I did that. I think it just takes time. And since you are way younger than I, I expect you will see continued improvement as well.

I actually looked at my body this morning - I, for the first time in ages actually stood in front of the mirror "nekkid" (no, I'm not a weirdo lol). I still feel fat, but the mirror says I'm not - in fact the really sad thing is that I now have the body I dreamed of when I was in my 20s and 30s - but now its old and wrinkly - partly cos of weight loss and partly cos of my age.

I get so angry with those who claim low carb is unhealthy - why oh why dont they shout it from the roof tops that it works, so that young girls who are fighting with their carb addictions and weight issues can have amazing figures????

Jo xxx

I look at myself in the mirror now and I can't believe I'm 58. There are a few signs of age for sure but I don't think I've ever looked better and I wore my bikinis proudly while on vacation. I have a lot of catching up to do!

My problem is a bit different. I would always think I looked slimmer than I did (until someone managed to take a picture of me --not an easy task lol!), and then my denial would go out the window temporarily. When I lost the first round of significant weight, I again thought I looked slimmer than I did. I got cocky and stopped trying so hard to lose. That didn't work out real well and I gained most of it back. This time around I'm being very mindful of these tendencies, so every time I get on the scale and it shows weight loss, I congratulate myself but then I also sternly tell myself that I have a long way to go yet. It keeps me in check, and I'm at my lowest weight in 13 years (I started to pack it on when I got married 15 years ago).

Totally agree.

I sent you a PM by the way