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  #1   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 10:20
Zilly Zilly is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 649
 
Plan: Just clean eatin'
Stats: 215/185/145 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: Ohio
Default A thank-you letter to your fat

I came across this concept when I was reading various web sites, working on getting motivated to start making healthier choices with food.
Basically, it's all about being compassionate and loving with yourself. You write a thank-you letter for all that your fat has done for you and that, while you love and appreciate it for doing its job, you don't need it anymore. It's a really powerful exercise.

I'll get the ball rolling. Hopefully, others will want to share their letters and we can get a really interesting discussion going.

Dear Fat,

Thank you for shielding me and offering me protection from the world. You have been there for me as a comfort when I was afraid to be thin and suffer the implications of what being thin meant. You shielded me from unwanted attentions from lascivious men, and you were my comfort after I escaped from a terrible relationship with a controlling boyfriend.
I know that you are just doing your job. I appreciate that you have been here for me all these years.
But, I don't need you anymore. It's nothing against you. I just choose to respond to stress and the pressures of the outside world using my brain and not my body. I have found new ways to cope with feeling vulnerable, and I thank you for being there for me before I learned these new ways to cope.

Love,
Me
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  #2   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 15:34
Zilly Zilly is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 649
 
Plan: Just clean eatin'
Stats: 215/185/145 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: Ohio
Default

No takers, huh? I admit it IS a strange idea.

Anyone? Bueller?
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  #3   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 17:32
crease's Avatar
crease crease is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 594
 
Plan: general LC
Stats: 202/144/135 Female 62 inches
BF:grr, no i FF
Progress: 87%
Location: wisconsin
Default

dear fat:

it's not me, it's you. you are jiggly, lumpy, dimply and just plain gross. i've enjoyed eating all the things that made you feel welcome, but seriously, i think we need a break from each other. you're no good for me. please go away.
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  #4   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 17:35
Zilly Zilly is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 649
 
Plan: Just clean eatin'
Stats: 215/185/145 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: Ohio
Default

LOL Crease - I like the "it's not me it's you" part. Nice!
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  #5   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 17:58
girlbug2's Avatar
girlbug2 girlbug2 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,091
 
Plan: Ketogenic paleo
Stats: 186/167/125 Female 5'4"
BF:trying to quit
Progress: 31%
Location: So. California
Default

Dear fat,

We gave it a shot, but our relationship hasn't been mutually beneficial. "Parasitic" would be a better description. I tried to focus on the "fun" part of keeping you, but once you were here it wasn't so fun. In the long run you have held me back from many things I'd dreamed of doing. I wasted my 30s trying to make excuses for you and to deny your existence to myself, but that took more energy than it was worth for the temporary pleasure I got from maintaining you. You have been a drain on my life.

It's not working. Good bye. Don't call.
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  #6   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 18:07
y0u's Avatar
y0u y0u is offline
Just Dirty!
Posts: 11,397
 
Plan: It's a secret..shhh
Stats: 240/240/175 Female 5'7
BF:Beef Flavored?
Progress: 0%
Location: In the 5th Dimension!
Default

Dear fat, I am writing you this note because I feel that our friendship has become very one sided. It did not start out that way, you used to be quite nice and I enjoyed the warmth you gave me in the Winter. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed being a generous, kind, and caring person, but this just isn't working out for me anymore. I carry you up hills, I lug you around on my bicycle, I pay for your high BP medication and I even let you share my bed at night. I think I have been a pretty good friend, I even gave you a second chance when I moved to a warmer climate. So I guess what I am trying to get at here, is that you have become more of a drain on me than an inspiration. Please leave your key on the coffee table, thank y0u.

Last edited by y0u : Thu, Dec-11-08 at 18:13.
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  #7   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 18:28
shellienz's Avatar
shellienz shellienz is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 207
 
Plan: whole foods, low carb
Stats: 179/171/121 Female 161cm
BF:sigh.
Progress: 14%
Location: New Zealand
Default

Dear FAT,

I very much want you to think of me as gracious and thankful, but Im afraid that aint gonna happen. I very much want this to be a thank you letter, but it turns out Im not that nice a person.

Having you around has been like having a giant flabby hangover sitting on my butt long after the party ended. Its not even you I was after, it was your mate, the pretty one, you know,...Carbs
It was him I was after all along, and you just came a long for the ride. I dont recall inviting you, but you came any way.
How rude.

But now, your mate Carbs and I have broken up. I dumped him, and Im not sorry and were never getting back together. So, Im sure even you can see that its really not right for you to stick around now that me and you know who have had a parting of ways.

Because your a nasty and self centered piece of work, Im not expecting you to go easy, and I might even have to call in the big guns to get rid of you. but rest assured, your days are numbered, Fat.
You and your mate carbs can go play somwhere else.

With no love,
not even a little,
me.
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  #8   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 19:02
mainecyn's Avatar
mainecyn mainecyn is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 6,011
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 242/161/155 Female 5'6
BF:don't u ask
Progress: 93%
Location: Wyoming
Default

I'm not ready to write my letter-can't face it right now. But, have to say I saw alot of myself in the letters that you all wrote. The fat has been my shield and protection, especially from men, the way that I don't stand out or draw attention that is unwanted. I wish I could face it right now with the sense of humor you have all been able to add to your letters. It is an amazing idea-I will read these over and over to help me.
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  #9   ^
Old Thu, Dec-11-08, 19:15
Patty47200 Patty47200 is offline
Shrinking Member
Posts: 471
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 242/236.8/160 Female 5' 8"
BF:ample
Progress: 6%
Location: Southern California
Default

Dear Fat,

I cannot write you a thank you letter because I don't think you ever did anything for me to thank you for. When I was a little girl I felt different and unwanted. It was because of you I was always picked last for games, no one wanted the fat girl. From the time I was about 12 I have been trying to get rid of you but you won't leave. In fact you have ruined just about every happy occasion in my life. I felt fat on my first date, I felt fat on my wedding day, and lets not even talk about how you took advantage of me when I was having children. Just kept growing and growing. You made me depressed and tired. I can't even look at pictures of my life because you are always there! You made me feel unworthy of love and embarassed, I even think you were partially the cause of my divorce. I will fight to get rid of you until my last dying breath. Good ridence and don't come back you are not wanted her now or ever.
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  #10   ^
Old Fri, Dec-12-08, 06:59
Zilly Zilly is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 649
 
Plan: Just clean eatin'
Stats: 215/185/145 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: Ohio
Default

Shell - your letter made me laugh out loud!
YOu - I loved your perspective about being a better friend to your fat than it has been to you.

I know this is a strange idea to wrap our heads around, but I like it because it helps us focus on feeling compassion and love for a part of ourselves that we have always hated. And hated PASSIONATELY.

But my extra fat isn't there because it wants to depress me, make me miserable, or "thwart" attempts at a happy life. It's there because it's under the mistaken impression that it's trying to help me survive a famine. It's not my body's fault - it's just doing what it's been programmed to do for thousands of years. The fat cells are probably thinking, "Good job, lads! We're keeping Zilly alive! There must be an upcoming food draught for her to be eating so much! Keep working, lads! Our job isn't done!"

I have always had real issues with self hatred, which I'm sure is nothing new to many of us here. We spent our days running an endless internal dialogue through our heads that tells us we're "disgusting," "not worthy," "fat," "gross," "unlovable" . . . you name it.

But what if we replace those thoughts with thoughts like "You're amazing!" "You're healthy and happy!" or "You have a fit body that you enjoy!"

Eventually, if we drown out the mean, critical, "popular" girl taking up so much space in our psyche, the sweet, compassionate "friend" self will take over. I hope.

Anyhoo. Enough rambling. Just feeling thoughtful today.


These are all really great.

Last edited by Zilly : Fri, Dec-12-08 at 07:09.
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  #11   ^
Old Fri, Dec-12-08, 18:07
3shewolf8's Avatar
3shewolf8 3shewolf8 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,738
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 245/241/170 Female 5'4"
BF:40%/31%/29%
Progress: 5%
Location: Michigan
Default

Dear Fat,

Thank you for sheilding me from reality. You made it easy to not spend money on clothes and getting my hair done. You made it easy for me to eat whatever I wanted and to blame every single thing that was wrong in my life on you. You made it easy for me to not go out or make friends because I didn't need them I only needed the food that kept you as my closest friend. I thank you for letting me see life through your eyes because now that you are leaving I am more tolerant of people but less tolerant of people that judge others because of their weight. Because of you I look past the fat, bad clothes, bad hair and can make friends from any type of people. Because of you I have also not made friends with people who talk trash about "fat slobs" since I was one. I am saying goodbye but I am glad that I knew you.
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  #12   ^
Old Fri, Dec-12-08, 19:57
Zilly Zilly is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 649
 
Plan: Just clean eatin'
Stats: 215/185/145 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: Ohio
Default

3She, I LoVED what you wrote. So powerful. I completely relate. I realized I haven't been in any pics with my DD since right after she was born - almost a year now. And forget about new clothes! I'm still wearing maternity stuff.
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  #13   ^
Old Fri, Dec-12-08, 20:39
shellienz's Avatar
shellienz shellienz is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 207
 
Plan: whole foods, low carb
Stats: 179/171/121 Female 161cm
BF:sigh.
Progress: 14%
Location: New Zealand
Default

I can relate about the maternity wear...Mattys almost 11 months now, and I only ditched the preggy clothes last month, and I only did that because its just getting so hot now even I dont mind being seen in a singlet.
I often laugh and say Im a chubby mummy not a yummy mummy, but i dont actually think its funny.
...and by the way, has anyone else noticed how being a mother now has become sexualised? Thanks to Hollywood hotties having babies, now we all have to look like goddesses when we take our kids to the park. Its to much.
my deepest apologies for going of topic. so sorry.
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  #14   ^
Old Sat, Dec-13-08, 06:53
Zilly Zilly is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 649
 
Plan: Just clean eatin'
Stats: 215/185/145 Female 5'6
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: Ohio
Default

Shell, I know what you mean! In the back of my mind I think how nice it will be to be a MILF. Gross, if you really think about it!
And don't get me started on sexualization. It's starting WAY too early with the kiddos, too. My 6-year-old niece has a Jonas Brothers poster in her room and struts around with hips swaying all the time. It kinda creeps my sis out, actually, but she doesn't know what to do about it.
Looks like a whole new topic for another thread!
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  #15   ^
Old Wed, Jan-07-09, 23:45
wendy_lc's Avatar
wendy_lc wendy_lc is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 83
 
Plan: Atkins GFSoyF,lowdairy
Stats: 339/257/180 Female 67 inches
BF:
Progress: 52%
Location: Alaska
Default

Dear Body, Muscles, Fat and all,

Hey Body - Just wanted to thank you for all you do for me - breathing, touching, moving, reflecting, thinking, talking, working, and well so much more. It's seems I hadn't really been focusing on taking care of you recently - seems I was on auto pilot again and the fat is coming back. Well, just wanted to let you know I'm on it - I'll work to get that fat back in proportion.

And fat - glad you're here - my body wouldn't be the same without you - but you've taken up more than your alotted space so it's time for a "spring cleaining" if you will. Thanks for always helping me feel every emotion good or bad with food but for the moment, I'm back and not running on auto pilot anymore. I've putting back into practice the other ways to express my feelings and you and I together - we're going to get things back in the correct proportion so the WHOLE ME is a healty me. Here, Let me, I'll help you move that extrage poundage outta here.
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