Hi folks,

It's pretty obvious to anyone who knows me at all that I have lost a lot of weight and I get questions all the time from people who want to know how much weight I have lost. Lately, I have found myself lying in response to the questions and answering, "Oh, about 50 pounds -- I'm really not sure." This isn't true; the true response is that I have lost about 75 pounds.

The reason I have been lying is that I have visions of people doing calculations in their head, "So, she's lost 75 pounds and she is still fat -- how much did she weigh when she started?"

I've thought about telling them that how much I have lost is none of their business (using more polite words), rather than lying, but that seems somewhat excessive. If someone has lost a lot of weight, I think it is natural to make inquiries about it. However, I have noticed that the people who ask me for a number tend to be people who know me less well. My close friends congratulate me on my loss and periodically say, "You look like you have lost even more weight," but most of them refrain from asking me how much I have lost (with one notable exception, but she's always been nosy).

Does anyone else have the same reaction to this question that I do? How do other people who have lost a lot of weight deal with answering questions about how much they have lost? I think it might be more of an issue for women than for men, I've noticed reading posts that the men on this forum seem to be more open about their weight with other people in their lives than the women do, but I welcome suggestions from anyone. I am usually a pretty open and truthful person and my deception in this area is bothering me.

My standard answer is "A lot," or "Quite a bit" -- always said with a pleasant smile. Very few people have pressed me for a number.

Hi there,

I felt a bit the same as you to start with, thinking oh -no they will try to work out how much I wa!

But over time I hav become less worried about that and I proud of my loss, so I don;t care if they work out how heavy I was...actually it makes them even more impressed

Lesley

I know what you mean. I haven't lost a lot of weight yet, but I already feel like people can do the math. Or if I tell them I want to lose 117 lbs, they can figure out pretty quickly how much I weighed, or at least get in the ball park.

I don't have a good solution for you, although I have found that I tend to be honest about it. On the one hand, the number on the scale is mortifying, but on the other, I figure they see me day in and day out, and even though I may carry my weight well, they can see that I am overweight! Does that make any sense????

Celtinore might have nailed it for you, though, just stand firm with "quite a bit" and smile. Don't waiver (which I am not good at, so I can't walk the walk...)...

HTH,

Amy

After 45 lbs I just stopped answering with a number. I started to get a little self concious about it - and I got some looks like "yeah sure" (I never looked like I weighed as much as I did, I guess ) I'm not sure what they'd say If I told them 85 lbs, now.

I just answer "5 dress sizes" , or "15 more lbs to go" or something to that effect.

People have stopped asking lately - I think everyone's gotten used to it? I know that while I was losing 10-12 lbs a month I didn't get asked as much - someone once said they were afraid to ask, thinking that maybe I was sick.

Nat

LOL Liz!!

It's funny you should mention this because I experienced it today with my sister. My sister and I have been diet buddies in the past so It really wasn't rude of her to ask and besides that she lives in Florida and I live in Chicago so it's not like she can guess

Anyway, I had told her I lost 50 lbs and she thought that was amazing. Then she asked how much I weigh now and I thought..."uhhh do I really want to say??? She's going to do the math!" (She has a weight problem too but she's much shorter and has more of an apple shape. Where as I'm tall and have more of an hour glass shape. Her top weight was 205 and mine is 318) But I decided that I don't care. It's only a number and I am not a number. I am making it to goal this time and who cares that I once weighed 318. The only thing it signifies is how hard I've worked to get my body back under control.

I have a sister in law who also has asked how much I've lost and while I don't tell her my current weight I have told the amount I've lost.

I guess what I'm saying is... It is a scary thing to divulge your weight or your highest weight. It really depends on how much you trust that person not to make rude remarks. I guess the thinner you get the easier it will be to be truthful and blunt and not give a flying flip if they are shocked by it.

I was just thinking today that right now I can say I've lost 54 lbs but eventually I will be saying I've lost 160 lbs (which is a whole person by the way) Do I actually want people to know that I was that fat??? The answer is that they already knew it. They could see it without me telling them. But now I can be proud of what an accomplishment me getting to a normal size and a healthier me actually was.

Anyway that's my take on it

Julie Huck
318/264/160

Of course, when I get "there", I'll no doubt be volunteering a number ... not caring if they do the math ... because I'll look so good, they won't believe me anyway.

(Yep, I'm full of myself tonight!)

Liz, I totally understand what you're saying about this. I often do give the number because I am so damn proud of it. But I also now that people are doing the math when I tell them and there are times I don't want that to happen.

Mostly because I worry that the message they walk away with about me is not that I am determined and focused and healthy, but that I was once lazy and so screwed up in my head that I let myself go in a really big way. And who wants to be thought of as damaged goods??

I realize that's rather superficial. There are plenty of people that I share with openly. But I think it's natural and probably a good idea to hold some information back. Not everyone needs access to your entire life story.

xoDonald

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I had never thought about it exactly that way, but I think that is what has been bothering me about the question. The people who are asking aren't asking because they are happy I am doing so well, they are asking because they want to know how badly I was doing before. That's probably why strangers are more likely to press me on this issue than people I am close to. Realizing this makes me feel better about avoiding answering the question. I think I will just follow Celtinore's advice and say, "A lot." I feel more comfortable with that than with lying.

Thank you everyone for your input on this issue; it had been troubling me.

Indeed. And they are often the same, "well-meaning" people that tell you how happy they are that you're eating right and then offer you cake...

xoDonald

Ooooooh, I work with one of those!!!! Drives me crazy!

I have been lucky not to have anyone try to offer me food that sabotages my weight loss. I have had people assume that I wanted low calorie salad dressings, and the other day someone offered me an orange, but I think those were innocent mistakes. Everyone seems to be avoiding offering me cake and I do appreciate that.

This chick I work with could have starred in <I>Steel Magnolias</I> -- you know, the combination of sweet Southern charm and the bite of a copperhead. She'll tell you in one breath that you look great and she's so proud of you, and in the next breath offer a double chocolate-chip muffin, with the rationale that "just one bite won't hurt anybody!"

Celtinore, my grandmother is like that! Makes me so mad.

As far as answering questions about my weight loss (the two most common being How much and How did you) I usually answer

"I've lost about 50 pounds by cutting out the crappy carbs."

Sometimes, I ask people "Well, how much do YOU think I've lost?"