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  #1   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 02:44
Worldlife's Avatar
Worldlife Worldlife is offline
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Posts: 122
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 190/177/160 Male 68 inches
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: United Kingdom - Sussex
Default Beer diet plan

Wonder if this diet might be an improvement of the "Fat Fast" - hope you don't mind me posting it here as there doesn't seem to be a forum yet devoted to it

Beer Diet Plan

It seems that a lot of people are dieting recently, trying everything from an all-carbohydrate to an all-protein mix. I have another suggestion, one that has worked through the ages: the "Beer-Me" diet. Personally, I have a "liquid dinner" every time I go to the club on Friday night!

FACT: A lite beer has between 70 and 100 calories, is almost all water, and the part that isn't water is almost pure carbohydrates.

FACT: The average diet recommends a daily caloric intake of 1,200 calories for women, 1,500 for men, if you want to lose the medically safe two to three pounds a week. On the "Beer-Me" diet, that equates to at least 12 beverages a day for women, and 15 for men. A measurable goal.

FACT: The alcohol in beer is a diuretic, which causes the water to flush out almost immediately, leading to a consistent workout regimen including deep knee bends (getting out of the chair), fast walking (very good for your heart) and squats (as the case may be).

FACT: Drinking beer actually helps you sleep-even when you aren't necessarily tired. All that added rest is certain to help any problems you may have experienced in sleep deprivation, counting calories on those other fad diets. In addition, you may experience the occasional "How did I get here?" when you wake up, which always makes for lively conversation, and possibly additional exercise if you have to sneak out and run home.

FACT: The "Beer-Me" diet is good for your heart. After just one day of consuming your required 12-15 beers, you will certainly want to consume some aspirin, which is medically proven to help prevent heart attacks.

FACT: On the "Beer-Me" diet you can eat anything you want. The only rule is that you cannot consume any food until you have consumed at least half of the day's required beers. This way the food will probably only stay in your body a short time, until you again exercise the deep knee bends, quick walk and, this time, the "lean-over-and-hurl" stomach crunches.

FACT: Beer drinking is often done in bars, where other forms of exercise are common. Dancing, for example, is a good way to build up a thirst, as is chasing members of the opposite sex. If you really want to maximize your workout, try actually walking up to the bar, versus using a waitress. To take this to the extreme, you could even get up and get someone else a beer-perhaps someone who is newer to the diet plan than yourself.

FACT: Beer is cheaper than Jenny Craig.

Based on these facts, let's run through a given scenario for diet implementation.

CAUTION: This is a weekend diet plan, and should be attempted during the work week by only the staunchest of dieters.

MONDAY THROUGH THURSDAY: Eat junk food, and basically be a slob.

FRIDAY: Feeling "huge," swing by the liquor store and stock up. Go to favorite place of beer drinking and begin the consumption process (remember 12 for women, 15 for men).

SATURDAY: Wake up (as required) and lounge around all day, feeling slightly smaller after expunging any food that you may have accidentally consumed (particularly if it involved beef jerky from 7-11). Take aspirin. Notice that you have absolutely no interest in food, anyway.

SATURDAY (p.m.): Restart cycle, noticing that your appetite has still not returned. Perhaps only meet half of your consumption goal due to an ongoing discussion with "the dog that bit you." This is a good thing, as only half-consumption means less than 1,000 calories for the day, and you still don't feel hungry.

SUNDAY (a.m.): Wake up for mandatory sports day. This is a very convenient diet during football season, but it can be successfully implemented year-round. There is some major professional sport being played every day of the year except the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star game (fact-look it up). Consumption on this day should be paced to cover the entire day-you don't want to peak too soon. Again you notice a lack of appetite, and are feeling thinner all the time. Don't forget the aspirin.

MONDAY: Return to work, feeling thinner, well rested, and surprisingly mellow. Mark your log book, and begin preparation for the upcoming weekend.

Happy dieting.
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  #2   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 04:16
twinky's Avatar
twinky twinky is offline
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Plan: new revolution
Stats: 251/214/145 Female 5'5
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Lmao Too Funny
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  #3   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 05:19
Jebuk Jebuk is offline
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Plan: vegetarian LC
Stats: 136/133/120 Female 5ft 6in
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Ha! If only!
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  #4   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 06:37
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ncskibabe ncskibabe is offline
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Plan: atkins
Stats: 147/137/125 Female 5'2"
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Lake Norman, NC
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Not too unrealistic. I drink Miller Lites all weekend partying on our boat. Never gain a pound of the 10 I have lost. I heard on the news last night that aspirin is good in the breast cancer fight. Add a little Milk Thistle for your liver and some Oil of Oregano for all the yeast in the beer and you have a meal!
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  #5   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 07:07
BlitzedAng BlitzedAng is offline
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Posts: 9,233
 
Plan: Atkins 1972
Stats: 223/190/160 Female 5ft8
BF:OUT OF CONTROL
Progress: 52%
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
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LOL, this was fun to read I must say.
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  #6   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 08:18
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angieK angieK is offline
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Plan: atkins
Stats: 230/223/150 Female 65 inches
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Location: Vancouver Island BC Canad
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Thanks for the morning laugh.
angie
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  #7   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 09:04
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Alina Alina is offline
SPOILED
Posts: 4,898
 
Plan: Atkins Life Maintenance!
Stats: 184/152/154 Female 173 cm/5,8
BF:In right places...
Progress: 107%
Location: Germany
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I can't stand beer.......any chance substituting with Bollinger......
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  #8   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 09:06
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Itty Itty is offline
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Posts: 713
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 169/132/132 Female 153 cm
BF:
Progress: 100%
Location: Toronto
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I have also heard that dark chocolate has the same stuff--resveratrol-- as red wine (another good diet idea??), so these recipe items could be added to the diet, too! This beerme is definitely a heart-healthy diet, right??!!??

M
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  #9   ^
Old Wed, May-26-04, 11:05
Worldlife's Avatar
Worldlife Worldlife is offline
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Posts: 122
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 190/177/160 Male 68 inches
BF:
Progress: 43%
Location: United Kingdom - Sussex
Default

Glad to see this diet has been carefully studied

I too have looked at the detail.

Quote:
FACT: Beer is cheaper than Jenny Craig.


Thought a Jenny Craig was an American Malt Whiskey - but thanks to Google I now know better
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