I am having a hard day today. I think today is day 10 of SP and I am guessing that with the caffeine, sugar, refined carbs out of my system, my feelings are coming to the surface in a big way.

28 months ago I lost my beautiful daughter, Andrea, to a drunk driver. I am starting to find life and Hope again, but these past 2 days I have been feeling very very sad again. How I have survived this horrific pain these past 2 years, to some degree anyway, is with food, especially refined carbs. Now I KNOW, that all I have to do is face this and feel it and it will pass, but right at this moment this feels very hard to do.

My food plan is not very appealing to me at all this morning. Yet I am committed to getting through this day without *using*. I know that God/LOVE and all my angels are carrying me through this, but I would really appreciate any prayers and support you may have also. Thank you. Hugs, Diane

Good Morning Sweetiepie:

(((HUGS))) - my heart goes out to you. I cannot begin to fathom the sadness you are feeling at the loss of your daughter. I have two daughters myself who I love VERY much. The only loss thru death I've suffered is the death of my father last year. I wasn't getting over it to well so I went for a few councelling sessions. Have you or are you in a community that has a Grief Support Group that you could attend? I know we have them here and a friend found their love, compassion and understanding helped her thru a terrible loss.
I can relate to using food as "comfort". I too did the same thing. I will remember you in my prayers and thoughts and wish only good things for you. I know that taking one day at a time can seem undaunting but as my councelor said, "give time - time" - while it is difficult, it is the only thing that works. Hang in there!

Hi sweetiepie -

I cannot begin to imagine how much pain you have suffered after losing your daughter. I feel very blessed to have not lost anyone close to me so far in my life. What I can imagine though, is how hard it must be to not reach for things that you've always counted on for comfort and to turn and face the hurt. I think Suni is right and getting some support for yourself is important right now.



Be gentle with yourself today.

Lisa

No parent should ever have to bury a child! I know. April 23, 2002 we lost our 34-year-old son Andy. Though he is my husband's biological child and "only" my step-son, we are both in a great deal of pain. (The "only" here refers to the attitude other people have shown us. So silly!)

You have my complete sympathy. Dealing with the loss of your daughter has to be devastating, especially when the loss was so unnecessary. She was an innocent victim!

Turning to "comfort food" is understandable at a time like this, but as you know it is counter-productive. It will make you tired and sick, and it just makes it harder to deal with the stress and churning emotions! I try to make myself get out and take a walk or go to the gym when things get to be too much...especially on days when I would rather stay in bed and pull the covers over my head!

My prayers are with you.
Trudy

The angels are with you sweetiepie. Stop and feel the hugs and the love. Your daughter is looking down with love for you. You have my admiration for how you have reached out for help today.

My pain is nothing like yours, but I found after I was on the plan for a short while as you are, I was getting depressed. We have given a shock to our systems with this new WOE. I added 5 HTp to my nutrient regime. Schwarzbein uses this to help boost your seritonin levels. This may help somewhat. The advice of grief counseling is good advice.

For the practical matter of not using today, may I suggest surrounding yourself with good food in abundance and not having the bad stuff in your vicinity. Grilled veggies, chicken wings, rolled meats and cheese, fresh veggies with a rich sugar free dressing. Food can be your friend. Use the right food to help you through the rough spots. Maybe concentrate on the Plan to occupy yourself today. Let it be your focus for relief.

I wish you love and luck with your struggle today.

thank you all for your replies. Family and friends tend to pull away after awhile, but yes I have LOTS of the other kind of suport, support groups, counseling, etc. have had almost from day one. Support helps alot, but with the loss of a child, the *experts* say it takes about 3-8 years to *stabilize*. Of course you never get over it. As I have said for the most part I do quite well, but I still have my days and I suppose always will.

I am doing better at the moment. Feeling very tired and headachey and cranky but other than that I am better.

Now I am going to the store to make sure I have an abundance of healthy things around. then I will go to the park and spend some time in nature (always healing for me).

Thanks so much for caring. HUGS, Diane

p.s. how long does it take for these darn headaches to go away? I have never been a headache person, but these are really hanging on!

Dear Diane,
God bless you as you begin your journey! You are a brave and powerful woman and you are not alone. Speaking only for myself I realized that when I put down all of the things that cause me to "not feel" then I can stay in and work on my recovery.
You have made a decision to let go of your comfort (food) and I can tell you that you will experience a lot of feelings that you may have stuffed! As the others have mentioned a strong support group may really help you.
Keep up the good work and please know that we care!
Maureen

i cannot imagine your pain. I am glad you are in contact with others who share similar experiences and can understand.

But I can offer my support and prayers.

Yes, when we quit drugging ourselves with refined carbs, the pain (of whatever) DOES hit! All there is to do is to feel it. Cry. Journal. Talk. Post here. And, yes, some pains stay with us a long, long time.

But it's all one day at a time. Living the pain is one day (sometimes one breath) at a time. Staying off the refined carbs also is one day (sometimes one sip of water at a time).

you can stay on the healing track.

My heart goes out to you. Let me know what else I could say or do on the forums that would help.