My struggles with my weight began when I was 5 after a head injury. I dieted and dieted without weightloss most of my life until I found Atkins and discovered a thyroid issue. Working out 3 hours a day became part of who I am and that's why a debilitating injury hit me very hard.

In 2.5 years I went through 5 lawsuits (workers comp didn't pay the drs, they sued, and the State sued because I should have been paid by workers comp disability, not getting paid my company....). My landlord used a bunch of chemicals around the house and I developed multiple chemical sensitivity and asthma and am now on steroids. New drs took me off my thyroid medication and then retitrated me over 2 years.

So nearly 80lbs overweight I joined a diet club lost 8lbs and stalled for several months. Obviously getting the weight off my torn up foot could only help so I added IF and still didn't lose.

That was when I sought out my best friend who would say its too hard to diet at Christmas (which start Oct 30th!) and would go into details about eating chocolate bark and frappachinos while I'm doing LC and IF and not losing anything. She sent my Christmas present and then did something she hadn't done before and sent a goody box. Then she encouraged me to drop out of the club, as it was their problem I wasn't losing weight an said she would be my diet buddy. Then she completely demoralized me when she started dieting which was eating anything she wanted all day and lowcarb for dinner. Then she lost so much weight she found all she had to do was not eat 2nd helpings for dinner and lost 15lbs the first 2 weeks.

Its taken me all this time and now 90lb overweight to get my thyroid sort of better and maybe can lose weight and came back to the forum. I figure if things are working and I can lose 20lbs I'll go back to the diet club which I had paid for a whole years membership.

I don't know if she really sabotaged or if I'm overly sensitive but my mind comes back to very negative feelings about the experience.

Imagine if the food were heroin. Would this be a good friend to keep around?

You make a very good point and a realization I don't want to realize.

nawchem, sorry to hear about your "friend" and her attempt to sabotage you...

I have almost the same problem as you do! As a teacher, I am always "gifted" tons of carb-age crap from other teachers (who know I have a very restrictive WOE), students and parents. I graciously accept these gifts and then give 'em away to others. Do I feel guilty for not eating their "goodies"? Oh heck no, I am totally responsible for what I eat, no one else.

So tell us more about this "diet club"... is it generic or does it support a specific WOE like WW or LC...

Wishing you much success on your journey!

The diet club is TOPS, which is not a specific diet. They suggest you follow your dr s advice on what to do and what you should weigh. I say I have gluten intolerance and hypoglycemia, they looked a bit surprised when I said I avoid grains. They respect whatever your plan is. Most do low calorie and most at my group have been at goal a long time. Only the very new people seem overweight. I haven't paid much attention to the TOPS diet but it involves boxes and servings and they encourage everyone to enter their food on my plan.

I go there for the support about emotional eating, temptations etc that all dieters face, the accountability of the weekly weigh in and the friendship.

I'm so impressed you can get rid of junk without guilt! A few months ago I ate a few cookies someone made me because they were homemade and in the shape of hearts!

I need to toughen up my attitude like you are Jo!

I went to TOPS for a number of years. I finally quit because they pushed low cal and low fat. Also grains. They did not like any input of low carb. I gain, have gut problems, with anything that is not lo carb. I have done much better here on the forum.😀

TOPS, okay, I've heard of that. I even think we have one in my quaint lil' burg...That's great that you have found someplace in RL to get support and make new friends. Here's how I see it now. B/c before I would have felt bad not eating something someone gave me or made, etc ~ didn't want to hurt their feelings...

Then I realized how GUILTY I felt b/c I didn't stick my WOE plan which meant feeding my addiction to carbs and awakening all my food related issues... they never KNOW I don't eat their stuff... so all's good in my world.

I also feel that if someone is hurt b/c I didn't partake, then they don't respect me and my healthy life style.... right?It gets easier every time you say no! You gotta stick up for yourself and your good health!

It was hard at first to say no to the "but I made/bought this for you!" bad food gift. It got easier the more I respected myself & made my health a priority.

I don't do well with diet clubs, but OA was just the right fit for me. We have such a small group that we have gone weeks without a meeting, but I've learned to have a "meeting of one" with OA literature & now fb.

I guess my group is a little different in that so many are diabetics and have found its just bad for them to be eating carbs. This group hasn't pushed any diet on me - they just ask you to log your food everyday and find ways to exercise.

Just Jo good point about the guilt of not staying true to your plan. I have made a commitment to not cheat anymore or have those carbup days I used to have. I'm going to have to be up front with people or as you said get rid of it somehow.

I'm going to try to talk about how I eat more to peoples from the get go and try to head off the whole issue. I've been struggling with a foot injury that is severe/or debiliating for 2.5 years, finally got a cast, everyone is saying they had no idea I was injured.

Nawchem, I feel your pain with the cookies and turning down food people give you that is bad. Being on this WOE is great for me. As for me, you can read what I have went through in my sig.

I love cookies, and brownies, but I know it throws me off the wagon if I start on them. The rabbit hole goes deeeep. I can now pass up those items and eat the HFLC style and will need to for life. Along with that, I throw on some music and I walk every morning about 1.5 miles then add another 1 threw out the day.

I truly think LC with moderate walking does magical wonders, I lost then gain after my dad pas a few months back but now I am back and doing well. Keep up the great work!

Nrracing you have gone thru me than me and survived! Yesterday was the first day I stood on my feet for longer than 10 minutes in 3 years. I walked 30 min, hardly believing it was actually happening!

I think about my friend and I can see shes competitive with me in a lot of areas. Maybe if you lose 80lbs by cutting out 2nd helpings you won't be able to understand someone with my issues.

It all came out with a lot of anger and I didn't get an apology for many things just more rationalizing and I've had to realize that her low self-esteem comes before my well being with her but it doesn't have to be so with me.

OMG, I'm sorry about your foot injury! Wishing you a speedy recovery now that you finally have a cast!

Here's something that may work for you to head off the whole LC WOE issue:

I use this at parties, potluck, etc, where I don't necessarily have the time or inclination to defend/explain my WOE... B/c you know there's that ONE person (or 2 or 3) that wants you to try their Aunt Jennie's world famous carb-laden dish... The first words out of my mouth are: Wow how lovely, I'll try that in a little bit...

You know what? In the hundreds of times I've used those words, I've never ever HAD anybody come back to ask if I did try their lovely dish!

I love these tips!

Jo you are a wily one.