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  #1   ^
Old Sun, Apr-28-13, 18:31
repubgurl's Avatar
repubgurl repubgurl is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 69
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 320.2/302.8/130 Female 63 inches
BF:
Progress: 9%
Default Derailed?

After a morning/afternoon spent cleaning my boyfriend and I went to McDonald's to grab a cheap (and late) lunch. I ordered one of those grilled wraps fully intending to just eat the chicken and bacon out of it, but instead allowed myself to be talked in to eating the tortilla too. I knew the tortilla would have a lot of carbs and definitely would have sugar. But know that I am home I checked the nutritional information on that wrap and see that it had 40 carbs. I am slightly panicking and wondering if I just derailed myself.

Have I undone everything I've been working on?
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  #2   ^
Old Sun, Apr-28-13, 19:57
Liz53's Avatar
Liz53 Liz53 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 6,140
 
Plan: Mostly Fung/IDM
Stats: 165/138.4/135 Female 63
BF:???/better/???
Progress: 89%
Location: Washington state
Default

While you didn't need the carbs, you did not blow it forever, either. What separates the success stories from the wannabees is the ability to get right back to eating properly after a lapse. This is real life and we all make mistakes from time to time. Put it behind you, eat low the carb the very next meal, and you'll be fine. Plan ahead with appropriate food, be alert for cravings for a few days, don't give in to them, and it will all be behind you soon.

And while 40 carbs in one meal is probably more than you've been eating recently, it also probably pales in comparison to what you ate pre-Atkins. Relax and concentrate on going forward, not looking back.
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  #3   ^
Old Mon, Apr-29-13, 03:11
repubgurl's Avatar
repubgurl repubgurl is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 69
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 320.2/302.8/130 Female 63 inches
BF:
Progress: 9%
Default

Thanks Liz53!
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  #4   ^
Old Mon, Apr-29-13, 18:36
lovinita's Avatar
lovinita lovinita is offline
Triple digit loss
Posts: 927
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstien
Stats: 352/206.8/175 Female 5'7
BF:
Progress: 82%
Location: Boston, MA
Default

Nah, just realize the next time you eat to stay within your limits you set. You will improve and not allow yourself to get derailed as easily.

Question did you talk yourself into it? Or did your boyfriend. Did your boyfriend talk you into going to McDonalds?

My hubby, does his best to derail me. Like last week, he wanted to have home fries and share them with me for dinner. For some reason it is bonding to him. I said okay I can have 1/2 a serving. That got him off my back. Then I said after he cooked them and was getting ready to serve the steak. you know what I don't want to ruin what i am doing. Don't give me any home fries. I just have salad.

He was visibly upset, his eyes looked disappointed and his face sad and shoulders slouched.

I felt bad I couldn't share in something he enjoyed for a minute. But then realized while I want him to be happy in this case my happiness was more important for my well being.

Next time to avoid the temptation to cheat. Get a salad.

BTW, I don't goto fast food, or even restaraunts that much anymore.

I precook as much of my breakfast every morning eat the same thing 6 out of the 7 days a week. I cook my lunch in a batch so I eat the same thing 6 out of 7 days a week.

And I plan every single dinner and grocery shop just for that.

I eat out for 1 breakfast and possibly 1 lunch a week for hubby's sake.

And every time I am tired and say I just want to order in or go out to a restaurant. I think about it. And winde up saying no, it will be crap food not what my body needs and I will physically feel bad.

You will get better as time goes on, in learning to say no to yourself and external influences. In learning to put yourself and what is good for you first.
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  #5   ^
Old Mon, Apr-29-13, 18:50
Nancy LC's Avatar
Nancy LC Nancy LC is offline
Experimenter
Posts: 25,843
 
Plan: DDF
Stats: 202/185.4/179 Female 67
BF:
Progress: 72%
Location: San Diego, CA
Default

When you make mistakes, don't panic. You might overlook learning anything from them.

Next time ask them to make you the wrap and wrap it in lettuce. Then you won't face the temptation.
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  #6   ^
Old Tue, Apr-30-13, 01:56
repubgurl's Avatar
repubgurl repubgurl is offline
Registered Member
Posts: 69
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 320.2/302.8/130 Female 63 inches
BF:
Progress: 9%
Default

~lovinita It was my boyfriend's idea to got to McDonald's, mainly because he wanted a soda and their chicken sandwiches, but he did suggest going somewhere else that would have more options for me. I said yes to McDonald's because I knew it was what he wanted. He really doesn't try to derail me though and is quite supportive. In the future I know better than to order those wraps. In hindsight I should have changed my order once I saw the side salad on the value menu. I won't make that mistake again. Especially since I felt so guilty.
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  #7   ^
Old Tue, Apr-30-13, 05:28
lovinita's Avatar
lovinita lovinita is offline
Triple digit loss
Posts: 927
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstien
Stats: 352/206.8/175 Female 5'7
BF:
Progress: 82%
Location: Boston, MA
Default

That is great that he is supportive

The other thing you can also do is go out for him bring it back and make something for yourself. Or go to one place for him and one place for you then take it home.

Every Sunday, hubby goes out and gets Dunkin Donuts for himself. I stay home and prepare my breakfast.
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  #8   ^
Old Tue, Apr-30-13, 07:19
Whofan's Avatar
Whofan Whofan is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,550
 
Plan: Low Carb Primal
Stats: 170/135/135 Female 5ft.6in.
BF:
Progress: 100%
Location: New York Metro area
Default

lovinita: I admire you for sticking to your plan when your husband does his best to derail you. For most of us, that kind of at-home sabotage is very difficult to withstand and not spoil the relationship. Either it makes us angry with the person for their selfishness or it makes us sad that we can't please them by sharing their crap "food". It requires walking a bit of a tightrope which you seem to have mastered. One thing I learned is that even the most stubborn saboteur will eventually give up if you stick to your principles long enough. Some will even join-in eventually to see how it goes for them.
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  #9   ^
Old Tue, Apr-30-13, 12:34
Nancy LC's Avatar
Nancy LC Nancy LC is offline
Experimenter
Posts: 25,843
 
Plan: DDF
Stats: 202/185.4/179 Female 67
BF:
Progress: 72%
Location: San Diego, CA
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by repubgurl
In hindsight I should have changed my order once I saw the side salad on the value menu. I won't make that mistake again. Especially since I felt so guilty.

There's lots to eat at McDonalds. You can always ask for a burger in a bowl.

I think if you have issues asking for something off menu, that's what you need to work on. Most restaurants, even chains like McD's, will work with you happily.
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  #10   ^
Old Tue, Apr-30-13, 18:07
lovinita's Avatar
lovinita lovinita is offline
Triple digit loss
Posts: 927
 
Plan: Dr. Bernstien
Stats: 352/206.8/175 Female 5'7
BF:
Progress: 82%
Location: Boston, MA
Default

Hey WhoFan thanks so much for the encouragement It is quite difficult in our relationship with this. Has been a struggle for years setting boundaries. I hope he really joins me one day once I am established blissful health. Because in general he is not to healthy; always lacking energy, not getting enough sleep, aching all the time.

I have gotten past the boundary work but I do worry about my marriage. Once I have all my energy back and am able to be on the go more than him what will happen.

For a long time I didn't see it as derailing but slowly realized that he was being selfish. Even this current attempt he was pissed and thought I was being stupid for doing a low carb diet.

He didn't want to participate in figuring out the common veggies we like. Every time I ask him if he like something he get pissed.

I still cook him stuff he likes. I made popovers for him and his friends this weekend. I made him Rice last night. pasta tonight. So I am still trying to please him with extra cooking work.

One of the reasons why I hung my weight loss chart in the bathroom above the scale this time was so he knows my progress.

So when he goes in there he can see and know that I am dead serious. And this silly LC plan is actually working.

He refuses to get what it means to be Diabetic.

I do have trouble understanding this attitude. I would think he try to do everything to help me be happy and healthy. Cause if I don't get a hold of it. He will be wifeless early in life. My biological family life spans are not past 72 years old. Where as his go up to 98.

I am droning on. But thanks for the encouragement. I hope you speak from experience and that translates into my marriage. Because I do love him very much!
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  #11   ^
Old Wed, May-01-13, 08:26
Whofan's Avatar
Whofan Whofan is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 2,550
 
Plan: Low Carb Primal
Stats: 170/135/135 Female 5ft.6in.
BF:
Progress: 100%
Location: New York Metro area
Default

Lovinita: I do speak from experiences, a good one and a bad one. Nothing would have helped the bad relationship I once had because it wasn't built on a sturdy emotional foundation to begin with. Some people feel terribly threatened when their partners try to make changes to improve themselves. Not just health and appearance, but education, career prospects, anything. They worry about being left behind. If you are wondering about what might happen to your marriage once you get healthier and more active, he almost certainly is wondering about that too.

Everyone's different and every relationship is different, so YMMV, but my good relationship got even better when my boyfriend eventually "got it". I think I did 2 things right. I stuck to my principles and NEVER ate carbage in front of him. Okay, I'm human and I did slip up but in private. One day, when I started this w.o.e., I couldn't resist an empanada from our local Cuban bakery. I took a bite out of it, turned round and to my surprise saw him walking down the street toward me. There was nowhere to hide it or throw it away so I stuffed the rest of it into my mouth and swallowed in one massive gulp and wiped the crumbs from my mouth seconds before he saw me. I almost choked on it, lol, but he never knew that I could be derailed from low carb, which I believe helped me to be taken seriously. Later, when he was fully on-board with this w.o.e. we struggled against slip-ups together and pretty much eliminated them.

The other thing that helped was that I didn't try to stop him eating his way. I knew it would be impossible. After a while I hardly talked about low carb at all, just enough to answer his questions if he had any. I tried to never make him feel I was doing something right and he was doing something wrong. Which was hard, because I did think exactly that. Anyway, he saw my weight loss, he saw me throw my asthma inhaler away, he saw the ugly rashes on my leg disappear and he got interested. In the end he was more low carb than me! But it sure didn't happen over night and there were many times I literally bit my lip so's not to snap at him when he offered me carbs for the millionth time.

I think you've got this. All I can offer is stick to your principles and try to be kind. The fact that you love him very much says there's a lot about him that's worthwhile.
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