Fri, Jan-05-07, 23:12
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Senior Member
Posts: 177
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Plan: Low carb and clean eating
Stats: 355/277/180
BF:
Progress: 45%
Location: Worcester, MA
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Giving it another go
I have been overweight since I was about 13 years old, breaching the 300 lbs mark before I was 20. I have been low carbing, on and off, since 1998. Nearly 10 years later, I'm 37 years old and back at my heighest weight, 350 lbs. During those nearly 10 years, the most I was ever able to lose was a little over 50 lbs. And I tell you, when I got under 300 for the first time in nearly 10 years it felt amazing.
But as what always happens, I "fell off the wagon" and gained back every pound I ever lost. And sometimes, I don't even know why I still bother. I have spent nearly a quarter of a century fat. And I don't know that that is ever going to change. I don't understand why I can't stop sabotaging my weightloss. I want desperately to be thin... hell, I'd settle for just being under 200 lbs. But no matter how hard I try, I always fail.
I fully expect to fail again this time. So why am I even bothering to try? I don't want to be fat. I'm just not sure I can do it. But I have to try. Because when the day comes when I decide I'm not going to try anymore, I think I may just stop living altogether.
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