We are doing everything right. Except, our sleep isn't good. It might be hard to believe, but bad sleep will block weight loss.

It's also an incredible health indicator. If our sleep is not good, nothing else is going to work right.

Here's what I learned and what I did:

I went into menopause like someone being thrown off a cliff. Wrapped in heavy chains. With jagged rocks at the bottom and a big tide that was going to come in and sweep me out to sea.

It made sense that my screwed up memory and thinking processes, my utter exhaustion, and my knife edged temper were all related to the fact that my sleep had dwindled to 2-3 hours a night. I did some things which were related to menopause, like bio-identical hormone replacement, but the biggest were all about getting my sleep back in shape.

Now? I sleep like a champ. Drop right off, all through the night, and wake up feeling as rested as Sleeping Beauty. My body actually tingles with a healing glow. That's when you know it's working!

I still have a path to walk to full health, but good sleep is how I will get there. Here's the steps:

• Strict & early bedtime. If we are out there thrashing and moaning like a tarpon in the bottom of a boat, guess what? That's part of the problem!
  Pushing our bedtime too late means we skip the correct part of the sleep cycle, and then we aren't sleepy again until after midnight. Saying to yourself, "I do fine on six hours" is also part of the problem. That's the kind of thinking which means we are skimping on sleep, and skimping on its incredible benefits.
  
• Wrong light at night. When it is sundown, I turn off all light unless they have shades on the red side of the light spectrum. If need be, I put on blue-blocker or amber-lensed sunglasses. And my devices have settings or apps which turn reddish as sunset approaches and deepens.
  It's a scientific fact that blue light at night keeps us up. That might be why we protest that we aren't sleepy. The blue light (TV, Kindles, computer screens) is probably why. Many of these devices now have a function that lets us change the light screen, but many do not. Get the sunglasses and the salt lamp (just right to simulate the sundown light outside) and see how soon we get sleepy.
• Sleep mask. Oh, now there's more thrashing and whining? Too bad. Either we block out every source of light in our bedroom, or we get a sleep mask. Pick! I went through seven different kinds until I found one that I love. Trust me. The Sleep Mask of Your Dreams (har!) is out there.
  It seems that everything in our bedroom has helpful lights. In my own, there's the TV (even when it's off) and the humidifier in the winter and the fan in the summer and the alarm clock and the night light to keep from falling over cats and our iPad chargers and the streetlight outside. Sleep mask is so much easier. And once we experience total dark sleeping? We realize what we've been missing.
• Control our adrenaline. The popular UK expression "running on our nerves" is what we've been doing, and nothing murders sleep like a messed up endocrine system.
  Help it out. Try to eat early enough to not go to bed with a full stomach. Move our carbs to dinner to see if that helps matters. When we wake up, have a big breakfast (no carbs!) and get out in the sun as soon as possible. Use one of those SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) lamps on our desk at work to get jolts during the day. Walk at lunchtime. Get some actual sunset light along with the lowered lights in our bedroom. We have to tell our messed up endocrine system when it is DAY and when it is NIGHT because part of poor sleep is when this messed up system just doesn't know. Then it can't send the right signals to our brains.
• Minerals, minerals, minerals. If we aren't taking some form of easily absorbed magnesium, we probably should. This is vitally needed for sleep and some of the 300 body functions known to use it. And we probably don't know all of them!
  In addition, I've switched to sea salt. Everything is in there, and I don't miss the iodine -- I eat a lot of seafood and take kelp tablets when I don't. Marine fish and seaweed are another great source.

If there is more thrashing and moaning (you know who you are) about all these rules... well, it is no dang wonder somebody's sleep is messed up, is there?

I use a tool called Flux on my PC. It warms the light of my monitors at night so the glare isn't so harsh on my eyes.

And about an hour before bed, I put on Sleep Radio, then just read a book for a while.

I also tried a sleep mask last year when I was having difficulty sleeping and it worked well enough for drifting off in my chair with the TV on low volume, but I've never felt the need for one when in my bed.

I know all these sleep rules, they make sense and they work for me up to a point. I have a strange chronic pain condition. I am most uncomfortable when lying down. I have no trouble falling asleep. I wake up once in the night and go back to sleep without any trouble but I can't seem to get much more than 5-6 hours of sleep a night no matter what. If I go to bed earlier I wake up earlier. It is pain that wakes me up. I believe that 7-8 hours per night would be ideal but it isn't going to happen. I tend to feel frustrated reading about sleep hygiene because none of the advice ever addresses my problem with sleep. It's not that the advice is wrong, only that it doesn't address my particular issues. I do loads of research and I'm good at it but I have yet to find a solution.

Jean

This is an important one and was a big realization for me. I travel frequently, so I've developed a routine in hotel rooms by unplugging the alarm clock, blocking the TV LEDs, putting a rolled up towel under the door (amazing how much hallway light gets in), and otherwise extinguishing every light source around. In my bedroom at home, I have an off switch for every light source and light blocking (blackout) shades. Made a big difference.

Sounds like me, Jean. Or it did. I had a lot of back pain at night lying in bed. Led to my habit of taking one Aleve each night and then lead to me having a leaky gut and multiple food intolerances. /sigh

I am so sorry about that. Would a recliner help? Those things have a definite soporific effect on me.

Unfortunately a recliner would not help. It's not a back problem. I've had 2 major back surgeries and my back is in really good shape. This seems to be a problem with the pelvic floor muscles and various other muscles that are connected. It seems neuromuscular and defies description or at least my ability to describe it. There are physical therapists who might be able to help but they are few and far between and certainly don't exist in my small town. I do have a book filled with various exercises and other advice that might help if I could manage the discipline and commitment to stick with it. My sleep is actually better than it used to be so perhaps there is some hope that it will improve. I'm also thinking of trying to institute an afternoon nap and see if that might help since I can't seem to increase my night time sleep.

Jean

Thank you for this, WereBear. I go back and forth between getting to bed at a decent time and...not.

If I do, I wake up with that healing glow, too. I know I've slept enough when I actually hear the little bird sounds that are emanating from my iPhone for a full half hour before the alarm goes off.

If not? Back to the drawing board.

THANK YOU for the scolding.

Thankfully I work odd hours, and mostly at home. Because my best sleep comes between the hours of 2:00-10:00 a.m. When society and work doesn't try and pry me out of bed earlier, I sleep like a champ. It's only going against this "natural" rhythm that messes me up -- and I love sleeping in the early morning light.

So what do you do about menopausal hot flashes waking you up several times a night to kick the covers off? Usually, I fall back asleep but sometimes I will get into "thinking" mode and stay awake for too long ...

cshepard, I'm not nearly the expert that WereBear is. But when I was going through menopause, I had that "instant ON" with my brain, too.

I used an herbal calming combination that really helped. I kept it on the bathroom counter, in those days, so I could stumble in, feel around for it and the water glass, and not even have to open my eyes.

After about 20 minutes, the thoughts would start to get fuzzy, and I could go back to sleep.

I recently gave up my pre-bedtime antihistamine ritual and now I'm waking up at 3am and can't go back to sleep. It is quite the bummer.

I think I do better when I'm out in the garden digging away for an hour or two after work.

I find meditation, focusing on the breath, or sometimes in my case focusing on the pain, a helpful technique for getting back to sleep. Of course it helps if you already meditate during the day so are familiar with the technique under easier circumstances. In meditation when thoughts come up, and they will, you just don't give them any energy, in the words of a meditation teacher. It's like hunger pains, you let them arise, notice them and then watch them go away.

Jean

I think I need to practice that. I used to do it as a young adult. When you try to do it without practice it goes like this:

Internal thoughts:

Think of nothing
Ok, nothing.
I'm meditating good now.
Wait, I'm meditating because I can't sleep. Argh!
Don't think that thought. Let it go.
Can't. Let. Go. Must. Sleep. Big day tomorrow!
Okay, deep breath.
Let it out.
Deep breath.
Great, now I'm dizzy and I still can't sleep.
Okay, calm down.
Meditating now.
Is that my cat? My cat might need me. He's so fuzzy. How can you deny such fuzziness?

....

Being quite obese for 25 years I had plenty if issues getting good sleep. I had lower back pain, difficulty rolling over, and my shape made sleeping on my stomach or side less than ideal. I was a chronic light sleeper -- which basically meat that I was rarely fully in REM sleep. I stayed up late, I slept in on weekends, and I needed plenty of caffeine to lift me out of AM grogginess.

One thing that helped me get better sleep was a high quality, thick (2" or 3" inch) memory foam mattress topper. That really helped with the back pain and finding a comfortable position given my plump shape. I've used a quality mattress topper for 15 years and I still like it. I just spent two nights in a hotel bed and I did not sleep nearly as well and I woke up stiff.

Sleeping in a cool, dark, less humid room helped me sleep better, too. It is not as big of a deal now, but when I was carrying a lot of weight I would easily overheat and not sleep well as a result. I bought a dehumidifier to help with those tweener months here in the south where the AC isn't running at night, but it is too warm outside to have the heat on.

I get excellent sleep now and I credit this WOE. After 3 or 4 months of 100% OP eating my body did something that it had never done before... it synced up with the sun. I had a few days of insomnia during the transition, but suddenly I could not stay up late anymore and I started waking up - fully awake - at the crack of dawn. I used to need an alarm to get me out of bed. But as the sun rises earlier and earlier, I wake up earlier and earlier. These days I'm preparing for bed shortly after 10pm and I'm awake when the birds start chirping. I am out like a light for most of the night - no longer a light sleeper. Better sleep started when I was still well over 300 pounds -- so my poor sleep wasn't all about being obese. It was the food I was eating and likely some bad eating habits as well.

And napping? What is that? I can lay down and rest during the day but I find it nearly impossible to conk out. I recently jogged a 10K and had little sleep the night before. I tried to nap in the afternoon after the race and all I really managed to do was relax and recuperate for an hour or two. Gone are the days of turning on a nice, boring, lopsided football game and catching some Zzz's in the afternoon. When good sleep started happening, napping became unnecessary (impossible is more like it).

This all flipped on a dime. For 50 years I was one way and for the last 2 I've been the way I am. I was stuck in the fog of carbs all that time and it was detrimental to a good nights sleep. Now that I am a normal size, sleep is even better. I really don't need 8 full hours provided I'm not restless for some reason (sick, stressed, etc.). If I get to bed by 10:30 (and I usually do), I can wake up fully alert at 5am in the summer and 6am in the winter.

I used to think that morning people were just plain crazy. Why on earth would you get up at the crack of dawn? Now I know why. They wake up early and don't need 3 cups of coffee to clear their heads. On weekends I'm now up 2 or 3 hours before anyone else. I love that 'me' time. I love being a morning person .