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  #31   ^
Old Sun, Feb-22-09, 20:28
winnietheb's Avatar
winnietheb winnietheb is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 103
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 174/134/125 Female 5'6 inches
BF:
Progress: 82%
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Dear fat,

Thankyou for being my protection against the world for a long time. You kept me safe in a bad marriage with a man who was into twisted sex. You were my secret but not so secret resistance. You helped me to tell him to f-off when I wasnt strong enough to tell him that just to his face. Thankyou for also being there for me when I quit smoking. I really needed something when I realized I had to give it up when I got pregnant.

Thankyou for allowing me to hide, and giving me the excuse to settle for men who matched my low self esteem. You have given me a great label to hang my poor self esteem on, and a great way to beat up on myself. I didnt have to look any farther than you.

Thankyou for helping me to find some true friends, and helping me to more compassionate. I will never look at an overweight person again. Thankyou for teaching me that poor choices can take an awefully long time to work off.

Trying to get rid of you has made me face a lot of things that I have not wanted to face. I have had to be more honest then I have wanted to be. I have had to learn to deal with failure and starting again and again. Our relationship has certainly been up and down, I want you gone but I miss you and I am afraid to be without you. You are like the lover I claim I will never see again and then find myself waking up to in the morning after a night of weakness.

My challenge now dear fat is to once and for all let you go, and learn to face life without you. Learn to leave behind the armour of mediocrity that your warmth and safety seemed to allow. I need to make peace with the sexuality you have allowed me to repress.

Yes dear fat it has been a long strange journey, thanks for the goodtimes.
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  #32   ^
Old Sun, May-20-12, 04:41
Kirsteen's Avatar
Kirsteen Kirsteen is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,631
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 217/165/150 Female 172cm
BF:
Progress: 78%
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Dear fat.. what can I say.. I guess I need to think back to when you started to come into my life.. Developing an illness which affected my blood sugar levels and exercise potential was the start. You valiantly stored up all the excess sugars which the insulin had sent in your direction, to save me from the worst effects of the high blood sugar. You steadily stored up all the toxins from the medication they prescribed, which was far better than them continuing to circulate in my bloodstream. When I got addicted to caffeine and started to binge on coffee and chocolate, you stepped in and took the brunt of it all. My ignorance of diet led me down the road of carbs - cutting fats and meats led to more and more low-fat carby foods which turned into sugar in my blood - which you willingly accepted. When I went on low-carb diet, you eagerly jumped in to enable me to thrive and lose weight. When I fell off the wagon, you stepped up to the challenge and went into storage mode to save me from myself.. and when I got back onto my diet, you again put yourself out to make sure that I never felt hungry in spite of losing weight. You've been a true friend in need. In spite of all your efforts, I am always saying how I hate the sight of you. Thanks for sticking with me and having the patience to see me through to healthier times.

Now it's my turn to repay all your efforts.. I've cut the toxins from my environment, stopped the medication, tried to clean up my act and am working daily on the issues around caffeine addiction. I've acclimatised to feeling colder, and no longer miss all the puffiness. I'm doing my best to eat healthy and organic, and use portion control if I am tempting by someone else's carbs.. Sometimes I feel I am on a tightrope - how long can I keep my balance before I fall off? Will I ever get back to a normal weight? Will I ever be able to find a balance? Can my body further recover from the skewed metabolism? Will you ever find yourself being able to relax in a settled, calm climate, put your feet up and take it easy? I hope so, fat.. I hope so.

Thanks for being there for me. Please don't stop.. I will get better, I promise.
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  #33   ^
Old Sun, May-20-12, 06:23
Thump's Avatar
Thump Thump is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 130
 
Plan: Custom low-carb
Stats: 240/188/140 Female 168 cm
BF:
Progress: 52%
Location: London
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Dear Fat,

Even though our relationship will be over soon, I want to thank you for all the honestly good things you did for me growing up.

Although, I hated you for most of my life, I have come to realise that without you I would not be the strong, independent woman I am now.

I started out a meek little mouse but you forbade me from hiding from those who would hurt me. It was hard and I will forever bear the scars of being bullied but it also made me strong and it made me stand up for others who could not stand up for themselves. My bulk shielded them.

You also gave me clarity. You freed me from the need to belong, to be popular, to be like the other girls. I COULDN'T be like the other girls so I did not spend my time trying. Instead, I saw them for what they were, slaves to their insecurities, forever trying to be someone they were not.

You did get in my way often and stopped me from doing things I would have liked to do. I guess no relationship is perfect, I have been overlooked, insulted, humiliated and passed over because of you. But I don't resent you for it, not anymore. I invited you in and you did your best for me. Maybe my life would have turned out better without you, who can say? But I know myself, my character, my strengths and especially my weaknesses. I don't know if I would have become someone I can respect without you. I believe I would have been just another sheep.

I am strong now, not perfect but I have the tools to keep going. It's thanks to you. I am scared to let go of you but I know I am ready to fly solo now. Someday I will look back to my decades with you with fondness, forgetting all the bad times and all the though love it took to get me to where I am now but not that without you I wouldn't be me.

xoxo
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  #34   ^
Old Sun, May-20-12, 07:07
gmp55's Avatar
gmp55 gmp55 is offline
New Member
Posts: 15
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 195/120/120 Female 5'2"
BF:
Progress: 100%
Location: New York
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Dear Fat,
Since you've been gone I have wondered if and when you would find your way back to my arms (legs, butt and tummy). I feel a little vulnerable since you left. Even though your departure took over a year, and I haven't seen you in over 4 months, I still fear running into you in the dark places where we used to meet. We had a secret relationship, you and I, but it was obvious to all, from your effect on me, that you were a big part of my life. Losing my 75 lb. insulation from the world has left me without excuses for my seclusion and inactivity. I have had to really look at myself for the first time in a long while- something I avoided because of you. Guess what? I LIKE what I see! I am WORTHY of looking good, feeling good, and having healthy relationships with anyone I choose. I am FREE at last, and am not replacing you with any other crutch. I can stand (much lighter) on my own, and no longer fear the judgement of others nor the reflection in the mirror. Goodbye forever fat- I'm just not that into you anymore!
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  #35   ^
Old Sat, Nov-04-17, 14:51
kathleen24 kathleen24 is online now
Monday came.
Posts: 4,330
 
Plan: my own
Stats: 275/130/155 Female 5'4"
BF:ummm . . . ?
Progress: 121%
Default If this isn't in the `Best of . . .' collection, it should be.

Read through these both staggered by the honesty and insight, and laughing out loud at the wickedly funny wit I saw here. It's too good to leave lurking in the archives, so bumping this up.

I will also attempt to add my own .02 to the thread, but these posts are hard acts to follow. Wishing the very best to everyone who posted here.

My turn:

I can't do it. I can't call you dear fat. You have been the kudzu vine of my existence--here to do a not-so-simple job, and vital to my life. Without you, I would have been the bird that eats 24-7 to keep from starving. We had a good working relationship. Yet without my planning it or wanting it, you stealthily took over my world and affected every aspect of it, slowly crushing the life out of me.

It's gotten so skewed over the years that it's hard to say when things went wrong, but it seems that for most of my life you've been there. You've been the voice in my ear that says, "Feeling stressed? Eat that." "Feeling sad? Have a piece of this." "Lonely? Have I got a pizza for you . . ." AND I BELIEVED YOU!!! I BELIEVED YOU! I thought that food was the solution to every problem.

Now I see that you were the biggest problem that I faced in my life.

And damnit, I am facing you down now. You have a job to do. Get back in the f******g corner and do it, and don't lie to me, don't steal from me, don't tell me that you will be my friend.

I LOOK IN THE MIRROR NOW, FAT!!! and I like what I see. How many years did I avoid them? Never mind, I'm moving on.

You didn't just hurt me, you hurt the ones I love, and for that, I will never forgive you, never trust you, never believe you again. Okay, I know that's unhealthy and extreme, but I want to hurt you back. I want to restrain and restrict you the way you restrained me in the past. Every time I roll over in bed, every time I sit down gracefully and get up without wheezing, it reminds me of how good my life is without you running the show.

All those boxes of clothes I had packed away for someday? Remember them? They didn't weigh quite as much as you did, but they took up a lot of room, just like you did. And now? I wear them. They're not just hopeful symbols of someday--I put on the pleats and the plaids and the little clothes, and I walk out into the world.

Fat, it was me, not you. I let you get out of control, and I relinquished far too much of my life to you. You're like the tenant that doesn't pay rent and refuses to move. You've gotten your eviction notice now, and I am turning up with strong-armed friends to help me pack your junk and haul it away.

See this one, the one with the strong lean leg muscles? That's my pal exercise. Don't mess with her. And over there, the one with the healthy glow to her skin and hair? That's nutrition. And the one in the lab coat and the stethoscope? That's my body chemistry getting itself set right, because I plan to be around a long, long time now. I didn't used to want to be. Three years ago if I'd gotten a fatal diagnosis, I think my only question would have been, "How much longer do I have to wait?" And now I want to live forever. That was you, fat. That's how I felt when you were my primary relationship. Guess what? You're not, anymore. I have friends in me that give back instead of just taking away.

See those ones? the musician? the artist? the linguist? Those were old, dear friends whom I lost track of over the years, but they give me every bit as much joy now as they once did.

This one? Special. This is order, organization. She's the clean freak of the crew, and finds it easy and even fun to hop up and grab a broom. We all remember what an effort that required 120 pounds ago. And now she dances like Cinderella and enjoys the freedom of movement, and we all enjoy the way the place looks now, and it's just going to get better.

Between all of us, fat, you don't stand a chance. We have our eyes on you, we don't trust you. We will use you, because you are necessary to our vital functions. You just don't get to grow all over our life again. Back down, shut up, and do your job.

You are a liar and a thief and an abuser.

I don't always understand this new life. Sometimes it's scary to me. But what scares me most of all is the idea of you coming back and stealing my joy. I don't know my way through this way of living--sometimes it feels new and overwhelming, but I have been developing some amazing skills, things I should have learned decades ago, and there is only one way to go: forward.

I chose this life. Whatever becomes difficult in it, you are not the solution. Don't offer. Remember that scene in Walk the Line, where the dealer came by with junk to sell to Johnny Cash when he was kicking heroin? Remember how the Carter family met him with shotguns and said they'd kill him if he ever turned up there again? That's how serious I am.

This is the watershed, and I am turning into this unfamiliar land and walking into the sunlight.

Don't follow me.
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