I have been pleased for months at my slowly shrinking self. As I only lose 3 pounds a month at my best, a turtle, every pound seems hard fought, and I've been eating VLC since the beginning of the year. Whole foods, lots of protein and greens, and adding fats recently. I WAS pretty pleased... until yesterday.

Went to a family wedding yesterday - in a dress. First time in 18 years I'm appeared at a function in a dress. I was proud of the fact my first dress was too large, and I had to buy another for this special event. I was prepared to surprise people with not only my losses, but the fact I was actually out of jeans.

My anticipation hit rock bottom with a dull thud very soon. I was the same old, same old. Invisible. Sitting there with my hair freshly curled, makeup on for the first time in about 5 years, sexy new shoes, and a dress.... and no one even noticed.

I admit, I'm one of few larger people in a sea of athletic, beautiful, energetic people. But seriously... not one person! Not my mother who claims to notice everything about me. Not my fitness fanatical fitness trainer sister who is constantly bugging me about I need to lose weight to be healthy. Not the aunts and uncles who haven't seen me in years, and the last time I was much larger. Not one comment. Positive or negative.

I am sitting here crushed. I'm not doing this for them. I am enjoying the feeling of being able to move freely, my flexibility returning, my energy more than it has been in years. My hubby is noticing the losses, even though he refuses to tell me where he sees it because he claims he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. My daughter has been awesome by making me VLC meals that are beautiful as well as very tasty. My son... well, he has decided to lose some to, and I'd like to think that is because of my example. He looks great, and people are noticing his losses.

As far as people commenting... my mom asked me why I didn't cut my long hair when I started going white. Its down to my rump now, and I have no immediate plans to hack it off. Thanks mom... not only did you not notice a significant weight loss, you think my hair looks bad after I spent hours getting ready today.

I think my expectations were a little high, but I was hoping for just ONE positive comment. One.

Do I really not look any different? I've been struggling with the new wrinkles, saggy skin and psoriasis that is peeling my whole body in a variety of ways, but I really thought I looked different. Maybe me making a concerted effort to reinforce my losses by taking a good hard look at myself every few days has formed an unrealistic picture.

I have to say this morning, I feel like eating anything I chose, and my first thoughts were toast with jelly and mashed potatoes at dinner. So far, I'm fighting it.