I am starting today. I feel awful, I am getting older, life seems to be going nowhere. I dont mean to sound negative, yet I had a beautiful figure most of my life. NOw I am depressed, alone and fat.

I dont remember exactly how I found this forum, yet I was happy that I did.

It seems that my life is going nowhere, and my self esteem is leaving me.

I just feel hungry, and food is comforting. Food is like a reward to me, a friend.
All my friends deserted me, including my husbands. One was abusive the other left me for a woman that was 15 years older than me, and at the time I had a model figure. My very best friend deserted me after she "finally" found the "man of her dreams".....
I have been alone now for over 7 years. This may sound "dumb" but I feel as if I have been hiding away punishing myself, I just want out, I feel like I am in prison. I have a tough time going anywhere to meet people because of my weight.

All I ever want to do Is to sit inside, my life is not fun anymore. I just want my life back........I want to feel alive again.

Thank-you for listening, GinaLeanne

Hi GinaLeanne!!

Thanx for being so brave and honest about how you feel. The past is in the past, all you have to do is work for a better future..for yourself. I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you it's going to be easy cos it's not. Everybody's got some sort of strength, you just have to find it and use it.

I know how you feel cos I've been in an abusive relationship and food was my comfort. Now I've made a choice either I die healthy and alone or die sick and alone..lol. Of course I chose the first. But I don't guarentee you'll stay alone forever so don't come one day looking to sue me .

Good luck in your journey. I'm here if you want me to be your buddy .

P.S. Please forgive me for trying to be funny. My sister says I suck!!..lol

Hi GinaLeanne. I'm glad you stumbled upon us, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I understand the feeling of depression you're going through, and it can be a devastating thing, making you want to stay inside and hide instead of going out and facing the world. It makes you miserable and use food as a comfort. I know this all too well. I've been down the same road as you. Here's my story. I lost my job, car, ability to work, social life, boyfriend, some of my friends, my self-confidence, and it seems my sanity all in the span of a few months following a car accident. I was seriously injured, broken bones(5), facial scars, memory loss, and then to top it off I gained 80 pounds. It's been two years since my hard times, and I have been slowly putting myself back together, piece by piece. I'm about 90% and all I have to do is lose this weight. I've already lost about 30lbs on my previous diet, and it feels like a weight has been taken off my shoulders. It sounds like you've had your share of hard times also, and I told you my story so you know you're not alone. I hope weight loss helps you get your life back. This can be your stepping stone to getting yourself back out in the world. Good Luck! Keep us posted on your progress, we're all here to help you!!!!!

Oh, I have to find my Prince Charming also...do you know any Princes??

Hello, Thankyou for sharing with me........ yes, that would be nice to have a buddy. How long have you been on the "low carb" diet? "I have to forget bread exists"

I appreciate your encouragement.
I guess I am going to try to sleep now. I hope to get up early and work out tomorrow. Along with my weight problem I have a sleeping problem too, I either sleep too much or sleep odd hours.
Last week I joined a gym for 3 months, and it has an indoor water park for my son, where he can go while I work out, "if my car makes it" lol it's old and the heater went out last week, so who knows how often I will make it to the gym 30 miles away....."oh well"

take care, Gina

Julie, Thank-you for sharing with me..........I am sorry you went through all of that after your car accident .......you must have felt so alone losing everything including your boyfriend.........I am glad u r doing better and even found a new guy.......sometimes I feel like I will be alone forever.....and never have a life....I just want to be happy again. I want to get over my sleeping disorder, yet sometimes sleeping is better than facing reality.
When you were going through everything did you want to sleep? Sometimes I just cant help it, it is uncontrollable. Hopefully I can get control of my weight and my self esteem and try to start making some new friends. Everyone in my life has been unfair to me, and now I am without a support system ........ sometimes I have problems with trust now along with making friends. thankyou for responding, along with sharing your courage with me......You are a strong person, and I pray that God will continue to Bless you........take care, Gina

Hi Gina. Thanks for your kind words! I appreciate them. You won't be alone forever!! I truly believe that there is a special person for everyone. You may have to go through 2 dozen lemons, but eventually you'll find what you've been looking for!! I believe it!! To answer your question...I slept upwards of 12 hours a day. I even changed my sleeping pattern so I would sleep during the day and stay up all night to avoid everyone else in the house. Even when I was awake, I made my family tell my friends that I was asleep. If someone came over, I hid. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I couldnt face anyone. Luckily, 90% of my friends stayed with me (I can't get rid of them! ) and forced me out of the house sometimes. I'm sorry your support system isn't there anymore. True friends love you no matter what you look like, and they don't treat you unfairly. Pretty soon you'll be losing weight and looking awesome! I'm sure you'll be out making new friends in no time! In the meantime, you can start right here making friends. I'd be honored to be your buddy. A lot of us feel the same way as you do, and we all can sympathize. Thanks to you as well for sharing your courage. Take care!!

Thank-you for sharing your experiences with me. I am doing what you said you did, stay up all night ....... I stay up late so that the days wont be so empty. I only work part time so I have too much time to sleep. Sometimes it is uncontrollable.

I lost all of my friends in my life. One to suicide, another when she got married and her husband made excuses for her not to call, and then my very best friend....." I never realized that she was using me for years", We used to go out and have fun...until she got engaged....??? ....and my childhood friends deserted me earlier in life when I would not continue to go to their religion......"long story"

I live in a new town where I have no relatives or friends another long story.....I think this is mostly the reason I isolate myself. My sister lives a thousand miles away and sometimes I stay on the internet and watch her play poker, or I play poker for hours to take my mind off of things. I know I have to stay focused, but sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away.......I will remember what u said, and I will try to be more positive, thank-you for all of your encouragement. take care, Gina

Hi Gina,
We have a few things in common you and I....

1. We were both born in 1961
2. I have an older sister named "Leanne"
3. My oldest daughters name is "Gina"
4. We both live in Michigan (I am in East China)
5. We both love to eat!!

Anyway, if you would like to write, you can email me at jun_keater ~ yahoo.com

Maybe we have more in common!!

Hi Gina,
wishing you all the best in your efforts.
You have so much in your life to be thankful for, how can you say that "veryone in my life has been unfair to me" ? What about you son (how old is he by the way) ???!!!! He should be such a source of motivation for you. I think you just have to stop seeing the glass half empty and enjoy more the things that makes it half full.
I'm a new LC too and I think it'll actually be easy for you because you won't have non-LC people around you.

Good luck with your diet... I'm trying to forget that my friend can eat all he wants...

Hi! Please, PLEASE...start a journal here...it's awesome and you'll have visitors everyday to help you along the way...can't wait to get to know you!

Hi there Gina! You're quite welcome!! Theres more encouragement where that came from, if you ever need it, lol. I'm very sorry about your friend's suicide. I'm also sorry for all your bad experience with "friends". It sounds some of them were only concerned about themselves. New boyfriends or religion should never have stood in the way. You seem like such a nice person!!! I know it's not easy to make friends in a new town. Maybe soon you'll feel up to pursuing a hobby or interest. That's a fun way to meet new people. I occasionally take non-credit classes at my local community college (I'm 24, but of course all ages come to the classes), and I've met nice people with my same interests. They are usually only a one-time class, and fairly inexpensive. I play online games a lot also. It passes the time for me. I play on a site called pogo, and if you become a member you can have a lot of fun playing games and chatting. My sister lives nearby, but we still share my pogo account, so we can talk about the weeks upcoming challenges and the different badges and tokens you win. It may sound silly, but the games help me pass my time, and my sister and I think they are fun!! Take Care!!!

You know, I went through a period where I felt this way...and then I got help. Seriously, it's not normal to feel so down for so long. There IS a way out of this and I'm telling you if you find someone who can help you, you'll be able to work through this. Coming here is wonderful, you'll find great people to keep cheering you on, but if you feel this way and have FELT this way for a long time, you need to find someone in your area to talk to. It's hard, but worth it. I remember that when I got help it was like I was coming out of a fog and I finally got my life back. We're all here for ya!

Hi Gina,

I have to be out the door in just a minute, so I didn't get to finish reading the rest of the posts within your thread here. Oh boy, how I can relate to your very first post. I've been there... and some days still am. This woe has really been the beginning of digging me out of the hole I felt I was in.
Anyway, this is just a quick note to say 'hi' ... I'm in south Michigan too, Holland.. so, hi neighbor. I'll check up on you later when I get the chance.

Hello, Thanks for writing back.....

I understand all that you are saying. Basically I stated my feelings to get some input. I do spend alot of time with my son. He is a great kid. At 11 yrs old he has a great self esteem and enjoys his life.

I take him camping, fishing, and all the things a dad might do with a son. His dad lives an hour and a half away, yet only wants to see him once a year. I have been divorced from his dad for 9 over 9 yrs now.

I also just signed us up for a 3 month membership to an indoor water park, so we have been having fun doing that. I let him take a friend and he has a blast. I was excited to see that also have a fitness center there.

I guess I sounded "down" because I have started over so many times, and sometimes it is difficult not having a support system.

Thanks for taking the time to write me. and your friend who eats all he wants, "I used to be able to do that"......tell him that! it will eventually catch up with him.................. take care, Gina

p.s. I am trying to diet excercise and to be more positive about the future.

Hello, thanks for writing.

I love Holland!!! I went twice to the state park last year. I want to go camping there sometime too.

I hope to talk to you soon. I just started the meat and egg fast to try to "jumpstart" my low carb diet.

Keep up the good work on your diet, you can do it!!!!!

take care, and write soon. Gina