I was here strictly for "lurking" purposes, but I really want to do things right this time around so here I am ...
Im a youngin but have all ready had quite a journey ...
Four years ago, I began my Atkins challenge and lost a total of 80lbs. After the first 40 lbs, I began going to the gym. Lost the rest by keeping my carb intake very low (through oatmeal at breakfast at most, and greens for lunch & dinner) & hitting the gym. I reached my goal. It was a blast.
What seperates me from the average story is that I'd always been big. I'd always been heavy. Didnt understand why I was eating as much as jane doe but gaining as a result. Didnt understand why I was so damned when I ate just like everyone else. I hadnt had a baby. Wasnt thin then gained. I was just born big & for a long time thought id die big.
One day, i decided that if there were such thing as success stories - I could be one too. So I started eating less, eating fruits & veggies & less pizza, less burgers etc - thinking it was that simple. How that would be all it would take & it'd be the end of it all. Well it wasnt.
So I started looking into the mechanics behind my body. What made it tick, what made it gain, what made it lose - the chemistry behind it all. Educated myself. Broke it down simply, so that I understood exactly what every piece of food that I was consuming and shoving in my face, did there after. What it became, what it did once it entered my system.
Somehow, someway came across the term atkins, and began reading up on it - understood it because of all of the knowledge id all ready taken in
Started - lost instantly. Was happy. Felt great. Was healthier. I still think its the best way of life in the world. Absolutely.
At some point towards the very end of my journey I began taking diet pills to maintain. It was stupid - but at the time, it was very common -even popular- to do so. Diet pills with ephedra.
This ended up having the reverse effect eventually. At the begining it was wonderful but eventually I started gaining and it wasnt doing anything for me except giving me scary palpitations and horrible headaches when I wasnt on them. It was a sick cycle and I had to stop completely. Theyre horrible. Horrible pills. I felt dependent on them and it was idiodic to have started taking them in the first place.
It took me a long time to stop feeling the effects of them months after having stopped. Its been a long time now though and Im finally better. I was so tired for so long. Taking them, then stopping - resulted in about a year of being exhausted. Having no energy. Feeling sickly. Weak. Bones aching. Whole nine. I know I know its hard to believe we're talking about over the counter pills u take to go to the gym!!! It used to be that nothing helped wake me up when I stopped taking them completely. Now a big cup of coffee is enough to get me up and at it and ready for the day! Its the little things that make me so happy ... They really are so bad for you and I used to roll my eyes at what I like to call the after school special krew that would go on and on about how bad they were for me, but honestly they were right. And I wouldnt reccomend them to anyone. Not even for occasional gym use. Theyre bad news & you just dont need them.
Anyway I regress, back to my life story, LOL.
I have had 3 of the worst years of my life since the weight loss, and fell off the wagon entirely. Some huge dissapointments in my life. Life lessons that have left me drained. Things involving my family. Family problems, issues etc. I gained all of the weight back needless to say, along with 20 more pounds. And here I am.
Things in my every day havent gotten better necessarly. Things are probably going to get worse (in my life, life) but I cant continue to make the one thing I can control worse by continue to eat these things that are horribly bad for me.
Yesterday was the day I decided I was back on atkins officially, and today (by today I mean 04/24/07) was my very first day back on the plan. I had a good day. It was tough though and I know itll only get tougher, but I need this in my life
especially now. Its the only thing I can grasp, control - and change for the better. I have to.
Towards the end of my last journey, I was running up to 5 miles a morning. I want to get there again. I have to!
My asthmas horrible right now & my knees suck. Thats something I've never ever experienced.
I want to start off with atkins again. Then after a significant amount of weight loss, id like to go back to the gym full fledged. Not before at least 50 pounds though. I want to do it this route (like before) because Itll be easier on my body. Its horrid right now and it would kill my knees to do too much right now. Meanwhile ill be doing light running, power walking, swimming, etc -things that arent too dramatic on a body that ive put a lot of weight on, taken it off, only to put it back on again.
Im really really serious about this guys. Im so scared
because Im so serious. I need this so bad. Im tired of starting then stopping, I want to feel the progress. I want to do this. I dont want to dissapoint myself again. I have way too many dissapointments in life as is that I have no control over, I dont want to contribute to them.
I really hope to come here often. I need the support. I have 100 pounds to lose!!!!
I had a chicken salad today for breakfast (I work late)
& some pork chops for lunch
& some eggs for dinner (LOL Im crazy)
plus a ton of water
a diet coke
oh & of course my coffee !
Here we go ...
[PS, sorry about the novel here ... !! ha]
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