Barb, I've done the same thing, or similar. I told one relative newbie that it sounded like she needed an attitude adjustment (I forget right now what her problem was), but luckily she took it the right way. I agree with KvonM - we're here to encourage, help, hold hands, and yes ... kick butt when necessary!

Jane's got problems -- who hasn't?!! We tried to help but I don't think she heard us - she only heard when you were a little less than "warm 'n fuzzy". It would seem she has more problems than just her weight, and I hope she finds a place where she'll get the help she needs. It seems it's not here - we're just ordinary people - empathetic, but not professionals. Don't beat yourself up ... you said what you felt was needed, it was taken wrongly, you apologized. 'Nuff said!! She appears to be gone.

Glenda

If Jane hasn't been scared off already, I'm sure she might be now. It can take a lot of strength for someone to decide to try to find help in this way (getting over being able to talk about your body openly, admitting to your current WOE and how it has contributed to your weight). Yes, that tough love helps, but I don't think it's fair to criticize her mental health now that she appears to have left the board. Nobody should be beating themselves up, but we shouldn't throw the punches for them either.

I'm not trying to nitpick or argue - I just wanted to point out that Jane might still be here reading and I don't think it's helpful to knock her for responding to the situation in the way she did. If you are still reading, Jane, I hope you can see that for our various and differing replies, we are all here to genuinely support you.

Unintentionally, Jane has opened a conversation about an important issue, which is the need for sensitivity in online communications. Especially here.

Without facial expression, tone of voice, and other important clues, everything in writing sounds far more harsh than intended. Civility is one of the cherished values on this particular forum, and I for one hope to remember that daily.

bk, I don't think you owe anybody an apology, either. I agree with everyone else. I'm sure every one of us was in need of being told to s*** or get off the pot at one time or another, right?

I know I needed to be told that more than once.

I feel bad for Barbara because I saw her comments for what it was. I did not see negativity. I am here for one reason. I made a choice to be here. I choose to surround myself with people who are willing to tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear.

Everyday, for 10 years of living with my diabetes, I made choices. I must admit, some of my worst choices in the beginning, I didn't even realize were bad choices at all. Being uniformed does not help one go down the right path. And, I am not speaking as someone who has only made right choices lately.

I live in a home where I'm the only fat guy, the only person who has to watch what they eat. I can't begin to count the number of times I used the members in my household as my excuse for failure, because the wrong type of food was in the pantry and fridge. I also used the excuse of my culture being one in which life is always celebrated with lots of food. I could probably list many more excuses I made for myself, but excuses are only bad choices, no matter how good the excuses sounds.

I started doing some research in the summer to find out how to get motivation, determination and belief in one positive way to eat for the rest of my life. I made a choice in October, just a few weeks ago. I want to live healthier, with less worry and less fat. I choose to eat low carb/high fat not because all evidence points to it, but because I know it works for me. It never failed me, I only failed it.

Somehow, this time, I sense my choice is final. I feel like I am out of denial. It doesn't matter that there are brownies and cream cheese cake that are in our home and ready to eat at this very moment. I could name a lot of other foods laying around that would put me back on the high carb track, which of course would be a very BAD choice.

This morning, I think I learned something new. I would like to share it with whoever reads this. I normally eat about 1 to 1 1/2 hours after I wake up. This morning, I ate about an ounce of cracklings (pork skins) within 15 minutes of waking up, then I ate breakfast an hour later. I could only eat half of what I ate yesterday morning and the previous mornings since I made my choice to eat low carb a couple of weeks ago. I feel that eating some fat an hour prior to a meal made me feel full sooner. I am going to experiment with this prior to all my meals for the next week or so. I'll report back if there is something to this. It is extremely rare for me to leave food on a plate and when I left over half my breakfast on the plate and I was feeling completely satisfied, I still feel WOW! I feel like I made a very good choice today.

Now, I believe the lady who was "whining" is reading this. I apologize, I just can't remember your name and I don't know how to go back and get it without losing all I already wrote. I am not in support of using that word when addressing anyone. Perhaps Barbara could restate herself, such as, "we've all made excuses and from reading your post, it sounds like you are making an excuse". Any excuse is just our trying to justify our making a bad choice. My darling lady, I know, because I've done everything you said in your post. Do as you wish, but you're in a safe place here. I won't give up on you and neither will anyone else, but you need to first, not give up on yourself. You're #1 to you! Now, come back and post again, as we need you as much as you need us.

We know what we need to do and we need to hear others tell us in their own way, hey, try and make a better choice, it is your life and your health that you're putting at risk when you make a bad choice. Forget what everyone else is doing, thinking and saying and just make a good choice for yourself.

Cajunboy47

But do you do that to a child that is just getting potty trained? I understand where Barb is coming from because I've been LCing for several years. Being blunt to someone like me is understandable since I know what I'm supposed to be doing--I just don't always do it. New ones do not.

Barb, I admire your thoughtfulness and it is something we should all remember.

what bothers me isn't so much the "stop whining" comment. it's the fact that up until that point, and even including all but the last line of that post, everyone had been supportive and welcoming. i'm seeing this happen more and more, where one small, even miniscule, perceived offense is able to overturn masses of support and appreciation.

we all know text is incapable of expressing inflection. all we can do is be as clear as we can be.

Cajunboy, I think this is a very helpful discovery, and worthy of a post in its own thread. Why don't you copy it out and put it in Atkins--or wherever you think it fits--titled something like, "A helpful discovery about feeling full"

What I found to be kinda weird is yes not everyone supports my woe but if she has a family history of diabetes and her husband doesn't realize how important her health is? I mean he doesn't have to eat lc but he doesn't have to make it soo hard either. And yes some of us need a kick to get going because I've found that excuses are much easier then sticking to plan and when someone tells me to get off the pot (so to speak) it really does help and yes everyone was very positive and supportive - sorry she gave up soo soon.

Hey - I hope it didn't seem like my comment was trying to tell anyone that they were being rude, least of all Barbara. Some might find it easier to be kicked into gear by others after they've finally kicked themself first, I suppose.

tedw - I don't think your comment or any of the other comments here were being rude - we are all in this battle together and I've always found that getting opinions from others even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear is sooooo helpful.