I'd like to thank all of you so much for your input. I am truly blessed to have found this site. Sara, yes, I have tons of bath and body stuff that I've gotten for gifts and have just never used. I've just not taken the time to love myself enough to use these. Really, thank you all so much and I hope that this silly and totally selfish, yet so necessary, topic is of help to someone else, someday too.

A full day at the spa!!! A little on the pricy side, but save up for it!! there is nothing better than someone concentrating on you for 6-8 hrs!! A massage, pedicure, manicure, facial, and a haircut... you will feel and look like a million bucks!!! save up and then have a wonderful time!!!

Dee

I love your ideas, Sara, but I did have a funny thought about this one.

"Paint your toenails." I wish I could reach my toes! However, I go to a nail place every now and again to get my feet massaged, soaked in a spa and French manicured.

Garden tub, bubble bath, spa music, candles....shut the world outside. Pamper myself with some of my favorite lotions....then slip into a cute pair of panties and a soft satin pair of pj's.

It's funny how taking "me" time makes me feel so much more girly, feminine, and generally attractive.

Oh my god, how I knew I was too fat was when I couldn't reach my toes, when I had to struggle to put on pantyhose. That was my BIG sign. Now even though I can touch my toes, I still get pedicures cuz I'm lazy and they do a much better job. I think pampering is all about whatever makes you feel good about yourself, life, etc. Just do it!!!

Thanks for the advice everyone. I can use this also. I think I'm pretty but sometimes I don't feel it around others. Like I'm assuming they are judging me. Sometimes I don't even bother looking my best because I'm convinced that it won't matter.
I also hate when people question me for wearing make-up or looking nice, almost as if they wouldn't want me to. I have hang ups on this because from a young age I've been criticized for looking pretty. It makes me feel bad and I've gotten into the habit of letting go, not combing my hair, not caring if my clothes are baggy and I begin to worry about myself. It's hard to look good I think.

hey,

I don't know how it is from where you come from but in India, most of the large shopping malls have perfume and make up counters, where, if you want, the assistants will make up your face for you free of cost
If it is expensive for you to change your hair style right away - save up... but just so you feel good, go to the mall and try the free makeover
you'll be surprised how good you feel
When I was jobless and down in the dumps, a gay pal of mine took me for one - just for fun it was the coolest afternoon we spent together - at someone elses' expense!!
Hope this helps... if not in any other way - then at least to put that smile on your face

OK SERIOUSLY
How are you guys putting all these tickers on?? When I put one, and save it, the darned thing gets cut off in the middle!!
So my weight and the slider dont show up fully!! I'm sure I'm doing something wrong ( ) ??

mmmmmmmmmm Do you mean a Brazilian guy?

Sara, thank you!

Every single thing you have mentioned I have started doing over the last couple of years and I truly believe that it was doing those things that got me to the point where I became committed to looking and feeling my best this time around.

I am a stay at home mother. It got very easy to just get up and go. Take the shower the night before, throw on some "grub clothes" (I wasn't doing anything important anyway...right?), and then change diapers, wash laundry, pick up the house, etc. It wasn't long before I got depressed, quit leaving the house all together, and was anything pleasant to look at (or be around).

At the beginning of this year I decided that I was going to spend this year taking care of ME. And, in learning how to be "girly" I am finding that I'm not only taking care of me better, but my family is happier as well. I have more energy, not just from the food I'm eating, but also from my mindset as well. I actually allowed pictures to be taken of me where for years I would run from cameras...and wouldn't you know...I actually liked the picture! I am allowing myself "treats" in that I will get color added to my hair and have started doing things to make my skin feel and look better. I even bought a $2 foot file from Dollar General to remove the callouses on my heels. Who'd have ever thought I could feel so good when I have gradually removed 20+ years of skin on my feet? I didn't, but man, my feet look and feel great today! I even paint my fingernails and toenails. I started building a collection of colors that I felt "safe" in and have since expanded to colors I wouldn't have touched just a year ago...experimentation has become fun! Besides, with 3 girls I can't pick a "bad color" because invariably, one of them is just going to LOVE it!

I have more time in my day today...and I'm doing much more than just 6 months ago for myself and my family. It's been a long trip to get to this place, but the lessons learned in the process have been invaluable! I feel much better about myself and my natural personality that had been buried for years is finally starting to re-emerge...and you know what? I have a great personality!

Raising 4 kids, taking care of a household, and getting out of debt does not leave a lot of money. But, in the last few months I have started to allow myself to purchase simple and inexpensive things that have reaped priceless rewards in how I feel about myself. And, in the end, because I'm feeling better (and much sexier) about myself I am finding that I purchase a LOT less "keep up with the Jones'" products and more "I like this because it fits ME" products. In the end, I am actually saving money because I'm using the things I buy instead of just having them around.

In the end, the commercial with the tag-line of "Because I'm worth it" is a truth I am finally starting to realize and I love it!

Tari

This is so true! I could care less about the latest MP3 player, the fancy laptop and so on. My husband is the one who wants the latest gadgets, and I'm the one who gets a thrill out of buying a nicer laundry detergent or a $3 bunch of flowers for the table.

It kind of reminds me of maybe why Starbucks became so successful - the idea of "little luxuries" that anyone can convince themselves to splurge on. Yeah, it's really expensive coffee, but it's a lot less expensive than dinner out at a five-star restaurant. People flocked to the new coffee places (back in the early '90's) because it was do-able and everyone could feel a bit more pampered, a bit more luxurious once in awhile.

Since I started this low-carb WOL, I've found myself much more into making the things around me more beautiful. I wonder if it's because I'm not able to indulge in the sugary-treats, that I've found a different way of "treating" myself. Slowly, over time, I started to treat myself and my body better too, with things like fancy shower gels, little lip glosses and so on. But it started with silly things like putting the water into wine glasses at dinner and lighting candles. Flowers on the table, folded napkins, using the "good" dishes and so on. Then it was lined seagrass baskets in the linen closet to hold the rolls of toilet paper, the bottles of medicine and whatnot. I started putting a few flowers (taken from the dining room table) into a little bud vase on the bathroom vanity.

I even started trying to make my food look better, by adding a sprinkling of chopped Italian flat-leaf parsley, a few quartered cherry tomatoes or a teaspoon of grated asiago cheese on top of what we were eating.

Then I graduated to "beautifying" myself a little bit, and these "little treats" make me feel soooooo much better about myself, despite my long stall and all the stress in my life lately. I could treat myself at least as well as I treat the furniture or the laundry. I could buy a few sparkly barrettes for my hair, a lip gloss, a new shower gel. These things are so inexpensive, yet they've made a world of difference. If I can spend 30 minutes sweeping and polishing the wood floors in the dining room, the least I can do is spend 3 extra minutes in the shower with an exfoliator or some really nice smelling in-shower moisturizer.

Anyway, I just saw your post (I'm out of town, and have been for the better part of the last two weeks) and your comment on not needing to keep up with the Jones' resonated.

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend. We're on a business trip that was extended, and now my husband is working all weekend here...but hey...we're in Puerto Rico, and I'm enjoying the ocean.

I use blush and lipstick creatively. I think these powerful tools can make anyone more attractive instantly

HI ALL

I started making changes to me.

Hey............Sorry about that stop and go earlier.

For me it all started when after showering at nights while in bed the heels of my feet felt coarse so I realise, I am in a bad condition, my skin dry and flaky and while out I would feel so uncomfortable plus added to that I am fat so I know I was not attractive, I mean when I think about it at the time, I would never date or be involve with me and if I felt that way how was I expecting others to feel.

First I started to use baby oil on my skin after every shower, then add body creme even before going to bed everynite. I would apply alittle makeup once I am going out, I started bleaching my hair before cutting it every 3 weeks at the barber, as a result of that, friends would see me awhile after and compliment me on my looks, hair and attire. Due to this I have decided to adapt to this way of living and its paying off darely.

I have added as well to this treat to work on my weight and the fact that I am drinking excessive water the results are even showing more so now in myface, I have such clean face, I could not beleive the difference water makes in skin. Little treats I am currenlty giving myself are; getting my pedicure and manicure done every three weeks(its use to be sweets and patries) I have decided my next treat will be replaced by a spa package. That I will tell you about when Iget it done.

But take it from me the first step of doing little things at home to yourself does make a big difference, try it and you will see.

I think feeling attractive for me comes down to two things: mentally, you should feel good about yourself; having confidence in your own existence and the goodness within yourself. Physically, you should feel healthy about your body. Weight should not come matter unless it's related to health.

If you have these two down cold, it doesn't matter how tall u are or what color your face is (although you should see a dermatologist about it in case it's something serious), you will BE attractive.