Andys a dumda$$
My wife gained 30 lbs since I married her and she was still beautiful and I never hassled her about her weight because I didn't care because she still was beautiful and I didn't marry her for her body. I married her because we go together like peas in a pod. I don't have to pretend to be anyone other than myself and can be completely honest with her about anything anytime. She is a part of me that I would not want to lose under any circumstances. Some people call it love.

To me it is love that comes so easy and because we are both so up front and honest about our opinions and views of things Even if we don't agree she is an extension of me and I know she feels the same way.

She finally did get tired of the extra weight and took it off the old fashioned way of diet and exercise and now is very proud of herself and her looks (as she should be)

Now the flip side
I too gained about 60 lbs and she never had anything to say about it and she did not love me any less. she did have concerns about my health though but never tried to pressure me or ridicule me into getting thinner.

Unfortunately for me it took deteriorating health issues to finally get me to start taking better care of myself and to start getting healthy.
She supports me in this all the way,even starting the low-carb lifestyle herself.

To sum it up I am thankful to God for bring us together Because no one else can fill her shoes.

Andy needs to get a life and reevaluate his relationship because superficial things should not matter.
Its what is inside that counts

And fatty-coddling is going to make that weight just fly off her. Riiiight.



That pretty little band of financial and sexual obligation around her finger had absolutely nothing to do with it either, I'm sure



Considering the studies done on marriage, weight gain, and marital happiness, that's an iffy proposition - for women, there's a huge correlation between weight gain and marital unhappiness (which comes first is a chicken-and-the-egg argument ). But she's also MUCH less marketable to potential mates as a result of her weight. Lose the weight, then ditch the guy. I thought all ladies knew never to let go of one branch before grabbing hold of another?

Hmmm...and fatty bashing/shaming is going to be more effective? Perhaps...if the goal is to get her to dump him. Assuming that this is legitimate and not some sick joke, the issue here seems to be one of control. Since Andy isn't getting what he wants (Candy to lose the weight) by telling her he wants her to, he's "upping the ante" so to speak by trying to shame her into it. Nice tactics for a so-called loving relationship. Manipulation such as this does not indicate a healthy relationship to start with. I'd say that the marriage is already in trouble whether Candy decides to lose the weight or not.




This cuts both ways and I don't recall anything in my marriage vows promising to always remain at the weight I was at when I got married. As a matter of fact, I weigh less now than I did then. I DO, however, recall something in those vows about "to love, honor and cherish" (again, nothing in there about that only applying as long as wifey stays slim). What Andy is doing fits none of those words.



Newsflash...there are a lot of men who prefer their women to not be anorexic and actually appreciate a woman with a little more meat on her bones, so to speak. The above only applies to men who have the notion that a woman has to look like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model to be considered mate material. What's more, most women who look like that probably wouldn't give someone with the above attitude the time of day, much less marry them.

I wonder if she starved / purged / Slim-Fasted before the wedding in order to be 30 lbs lighter?? She looks kinda emaciated in the before pic ..

What if she decides to trim down by exercising?? She could end up weighing exactly the same or even a bit MORE .. yet be 3 sizes leaner and slimmer. Does that mean she loses the bet because the number on the scale isn't 30 lbs smaller?


Doreen

What about the number of guys that pork up? IMHO 30 extra pounds on a woman looks so much better than 30 on a man.

With such attitudes from some men, it's a wonder any of them could GET a wife....

As for "fatty-coddling" et al...

My husband "supported" my weight loss by oinking when I ate something he didn't think I should have...and ridiculing me every chance he got, while telling me he did it because he "cared"....It didn't work. <duh>

Glad Mr Potatohead isn't around if you were getting that kinda crap!

Not to mention be more physically capable of kicking Andy's sorry butt to the curb.

There is a huge chasm between "fatty coddling" and being a decent human being. If someone put a website up about his wife with crap like that on it, he's no kind of man. He can't settle the issue without that? He isn't strong enough to present her his point of view without creating a comedy website?

(I'm pretty sure the entire thing is fake, anyway.)

I finally realized what about this bothers me so much, so get ready for a rant folks. It's because it promotes the attitude in today's society that being overweight, even by a little, makes it legitimate to subject someone to ridicule, taunting and verbal abuse simply because of a number on a scale or that they don't fit the (IMNSHO, ANOREXIC) model of beauty that the media presents us with).
Does being overweight make us less human? How about lower intelligence? Less capable of doing a good job than the next person? Without feelings? A worse husband/wife than a skinny person? Should we forfeit our right to be treated with dignity and respect soley because of our size? The answer to all of those is NO! Does not fitting the mold of what someone else feels is beauty make us deserving of such treatment? No! When I get to my goal weight, I will still be the same person I was when I weighed 260 pounds. About the only difference I have noticed so far is that I now have the self esteem and confidence to stand up to the morons who think they have a right to comment on my size and call them for the jerks they are.
As an adult, I can stand up for myself, but it's this same attitude even among young children that has made it necessary for me to have to be on guard against a possible eating disorder in my 9 year old daughter! About a year ago, she started getting a little chubby and when the other kids in her class found out what she weighed (much thanks to her gym teacher for that one), they started taunting her. This was in second grade, folks! How did she respond? She quit eating and dropped nearly 20 pounds in 6 months. Great! some folks might say. Not great. At that age, losing that much weight that quickly can cause a child to stop growing and it damages their bodies in other ways. Her pediatrician is having a fit! Not to mention, now we have to battle the mindset of "I'm fat" even when she is NOT fat, nor was she when all this started and she's preoccupied with how much she weighs at 9 years old! She didn't "fit the mold" of how the other kids thought she should be and she wasn't mature enough to stand up for herself and tell them to get a life. That's how much damage words (and the attitude that you have to be skinny to be an acceptable human being) can do and it is NOT acceptable in my opinion.
What I find especially disturbing is that someone who (I presume) has suffered verbal abuse or discrimination due to their size would see this as perfectly acceptable behavior to engage in.

End of rant.

How successfully you women frame the discussion in terms of the chauvinist jerk husband vs. the helplessly overweight wife! Are these the things they taught you when they pulled you aside in gym class? Torching your straw men isn't worth the flames that would ensue.

The reality is quite simple: being fat is not acceptable (not even with the 'to have and to hold' poppycock so readily being bandied about as an excuse for fat-assery). When people learn this, perhaps they will de-chunkify and start living happier lives. I know I have

Did you not read Lisa's post, Speakerguy? Why are the overweight (and even the slightly overweight) undeserving of dignity in your world? Being fat is not a crime, and isn't even a moral issue, so why is someone worth less when they gain weight?

I'm pretty sure that site is just a joke, but dude - that woman is experiencing entirely NORMAL "female pattern weight gain." That's the way the female body is designed to work. Sorry. No, I take that back - no woman owes anyone else an apology for that.

"being fat is not acceptable"

According to whom? Who has the right to judge?

Speakerguy-- may I ask what YOUR wife thinks of your size?

I agree with Kristine. Says who? And why should I conform to what "they" think is beauty? What gives "them" the right to set the standard?
Considering that the current "standard" of what is considered "acceptable" is fostering eating disorders in our young daughters (and sons as well) in order to try and meet it, I'd say that something is seriously wrong with that standard.
I didn't need gym class to teach me that every human being is deserving of being treated with dignity and respect regardless of what size, color or shape they happen to be, but now that you mention it, it wouldn't be a bad idea to start teaching people that lesson in school; it seems that quite a few haven't learned yet that a person's worth isn't determined by what size they wear, nor should happiness be tied to a number on the scale.
I'm afraid that those who think that losing weight will solve all their problems and that they'll find happiness when they reach that magic number on the scale will find themselves sorely disappointed once they reach their goal weight and find that the only thing that has changed about them is their clothing size unless they also deal with the serious self-esteem issues also going on. BTW...self-esteem shouldn't be tied to a number, either, since what size we are or how much we weigh doesn't determine our worth as a human being, either.
As for a heavier girl being less "marketable"....dude, we aren't slabs of meat to be put on the auction block! I found and married a wonderful guy weighing more than I do now and we've been together (happily, I might add) for more than 18 years now. Come to think of it, he's gained 50 pounds in the time we've been married. Should I kick him to the curb because of that? NOT!

Weight issues aside, any man that would turn his wife into an internet sideshow to be mocked and ridiculed is no man in my opinion.

This is a quote from Dr. Stillman's Quick Weight Loss Diet, published in the US in 1967.

What a sad example of manipulation and humiliation.


Doreen