I just came on this forum after a really long time...
I can tell you only one thing... "That was then, This is now"...
You need to step out of your space(the "Then") and look at you (the "Now").
Worry won't make things better. So control your emotions doing things that make you happy.
Like for me, when i didn't have a job... i had forgotten about my art work, so i started painting again.
There were times when i had a really bad interview. I would feel horrible, but instead of diving into food... i decided to take a long drive and listen to Bon Jovi songs.
I would dress up and go to Barnes and Nobles reading books about how to enhance my career...
I worked in Canada as an intern...just for the fun of it...
So take a two month vacation to canada and work there...
I volunteer to help special needs kids they made me feel so special and perfect in every way
Don't bother solving emotions by drinking.. it's just not a smart move...
At times like when i feel like things are not working...the way i want... i look around me and re-evaluate everything..."what is working for me and what isn't?" get rid of bad habbits, ditch no-good people... move towards +ve people, re-shift your friend circle...
When u are around the +ve people, u will feel +ve and that feeling will kick start your thinking in trying out new things...
like bunjie jumping or adding more to your existing career... work as a freelance entertainer, or DJ.... endless options my friend...
and they way u look right now ...i suggest u get ur sexy ass into modeling...
Hope my words...are useful to you