I admit, I have had my share of struggles staying on track with Atkins, but I'm getting kind of tired of hearing "I can't!, It's too hard!", both on the board, and in my "real-life" relationships.

I will be first in line to support a friend in need. We ALL need some support and encouragement from time to time. It just seems to me that a few are all but sabotaging themselves, as if to try to prove that they are too weak and the plan too flawed for them to ever "win".

I have two friends living within blocks of me. The first has HIGH bp, sleep apnea, borderline diabetes, with about 60 extra lbs she "can't" shed. I nagged her in to asking her doctor about Atkins, and he told her to try for two weeks, then check back in with him... she somehow took this to mean he "really didn't want her to do it, and her niece is a phamacist and says it's bad, and it looks hard...etc" Is dying of a stroke or heart attack easy? I just keep my mouth shut when she complains about her weight, WHILE eating a breaded, deep-fried meal.

The other, with asthma, wheat intolerance, and about 25 lbs she wants to lose, claims she "just can't do it", and after losing 10 lbs on induction, gave up, even resuming eating wheat because it was "too hard to give up".."It was handy..." "I couldn't resist it" "I EARNED it because I had a bad day"... You get the picture.

I'm getting so I just run the cursor over posts pertaining to anything remotely similar to these stories, since I know others will be able to be more supportive. I try to only say positive, encouraging things when I do "go there" to return the kindness of others shown to me.

That's why I chose to post here, since I just want to know if my frustration is shared, because I'm about to BLOW and tell them to wake up and snap out of it! It took that to get ME to get serious..(note i did NOT say "perfect"!)

Seems to me, when people are personally ready for this woe, it will work for them. No amount of nagging or even encouragement by someone else will do any good until they are ready.

I knew about Atkins 30 years ago. I remember my reason for deciding against it wasn't because I thought it was unhealthy, but simply because I couldn't imagine eggs and bacon without the bread! lol

judy

You cant make people listen if they dont wanna, just you do your own thing and let them get on with their own lifes.
When they are ready they will do something about their weight!!
My husband was on weight watchers and kept going up and down,after seeing my loss and others he has now decided to do Atkins one week on he has lost just over 7lbs.
But I hear what you are saying people complaing about their weight, but not willing to help themselves can be annoying (but remember its not that easy for everyone,if it was nobody would be overweight!!) If you think it would help tell them if they dont want to do something about their weight you dont wanna hear about it!!

i hear ya potatofree but i do think its hard being on a diet and the temptation to cheat is everywhere.i,ve always found it easy to stick to a diet, my previous problem was maintainance. always put the weight straight back on.although i,m no saint, i find atkins maintainance fine to stick to.never had bread, pots, rice etc for over 2 years.
i know from experience that these foods are triggers and i would never be able to just have one small slice.maybe some has to find their "triggers" and once eliminated, they could stick to this woe.
others, i,m afraid, will never stick to this diet, after all it doesn,t suit everyone.
at least here, everyone can get support when its asked for, even if it works for 50% then its been worth it.

I'm far from perfect, and was the Queen of Denial for years, and I realize that, much like an addict, a person may have to "hit bottom" before doing something about it.

The people I'm frustrated with are the ones who don't want to deprive themseves of whatever they wish to put in their bodies. The ones who are looking for some "magic" way to indulge their every whim, and have the pounds still melt away. I've tried to teach my kids that they can't always have everything they want. I've finally managed to teach MYSELF that!

I've tried a great many "magic pills" over the years myself, making excuse after excuse about why I weigh what I did, while secretly binging on whatever I could fit in my mouth. This infantile, self-gratifying behavior put me near 300 pounds. I blamed the diet plan for failing me, blamed my mother for overfeeding me, blamed my son's disability for stressing me into overeating. What I consider "hitting bottom" for me was the realization that if I didn't get it under control, my weight would kill me, leaving my son with NO ONE to care for him. (is father was killed 8 years ago).

I guess I don't want to see my friends go through the pain of illness, or their families go through the pain of losing them. I'm just frustrated because I know it's not MY place to convince them. I also realize you can't MAKE someone outgrow the self-defeating "magic-pill" mentality.

I guess my quote can be interpreted many ways. If someone has no desire to change, I shouldn't waste my time. I know I wish someone had given me a slap long ago, but I suppose I wouldn't have listened anyway. I probably would have gotten angry, hurt, and used their "meanness" as an excuse to medicate myself with food!

Thanks for listening to me "vent"...

I do understand your frustration, especially when the people in question are friends or family members. My mom, for example, was told a year ago that she has diabetes. Since then, she has neither seen a dr. nor changed her way of eating in any repsect. It worries me terribly, and I've "nagged" at her to please at least see a dr., but she simply refuses. (I suspect she does so because she knows that a dr. will advise her to make some dietary changes, and she doesn't want to "give up anything.") Meanwhile, she thinks I'm nuts for voluntarily making changes to my diet/life based on my own desire to do what is best for my health. (I was diagnosed as having insulin resistance, "borderline" diabetes, PCOS, and was in the hospital due to pulmonary embolism earlier this spring. Yikes! Talk about a kick to the fanny! I knew I needed to do *something* positive for my body, and lowfat certainly had never helped a bit. <g>)

At any rate, it is darned tough to let go of the frustration of watching someone you love pursue a course that you know/believe will harm them, but eventually you do just make peace with it. We all have to make our own choices, and take responsibility for 'em. Tough to stand back and allow others to have that freedom when we think we know what would be best for them... <G> At least you can come here and let off steam a bit. We undertand how you feel!

Lene'

Just a side note...lol. GUESS who started asking me LOTS of questions about Atkins?? The high-bp-sleep-apnea-"can't do it" friend!! I'm going to loan her my book tomorrow!!!!!

The people you're referring to probably find any change difficult. They're probably always saying, "Oh, I should do this or that or I wish I had this or that then life would be so much easier." The shoulds and wishes are one of the "Magic Pills" you're referring to.

You've probably discovered that your attitude and behavior have changed just by changing the way you eat. If you remove the substance you're addicted to, what have you got left? Just yourself.

You don't have to say anything unless someone truly wants to know but you can be a wonderful inspiration by example. Attraction, not promotion baby!

Karen

There are, of course, ways to "convert" the reluctant. They are immoral, of course, but they do work.

The "ultimatum" technique - do this, or else! - though long beloved of therapists, advice columnists, and daytime talk shows, it has mixed results, invites cheating, but is sometimes effective, especially when multiple loved ones / and or family are involved. Recruiting a forsaken lover or current lust-object to the team can dramatically enhance short-term results. Works best when the victim (um, convert) has an IQ between 75 and 110.

The "love bombing" technique involves isolating the victim (um, convert) and showering her with a barrage of sappy emotional appeals - the more people, and the more rehearsed/eloquent the appeals, the better. It helps to cloak oneself in religious piety (waving bibles around, etc.) Loud, rhythmic music, sleep deprivation, and repeated physical contact increase the impact of the appeals. Problem: this will ruin a weekend faster than a nuke can wreck the shopping mall.

The "contra" technique involves adopting a behavior contrary that which is desired, letting that contrary behavior "destroy" you (your dreams, hopes, family, whatever), and place your friend in the position of "saving" you: she would have to adopt the desired behavior in order to save you. This is risky, and needs planning, skill and timing to execute, but in the long term can be the most effective of all, since she will think she came up with the rescue idea, and hence, will buy into it quickly. Works best when the victim (um, convert) has a caring nature and an IQ between 110 and 135 - too smart, and she'll bust you; too dumb, and she won't get it.

***

The most moral option, of course, is the "exemplary" one: adopt the desired behavior yourself, and let is shine forth: quietly, and persistently, in a low-key way. This is twisted, difficult, frustrating, and unsexy - but it works, is morally sound, and will let you sleep at night unashamed of the day. You may have noticed this already.

Here is a primo example, not food related...
My mother smoked for almost 40 years. We all kept trying to get her to quit - when I was a child, I would flush her smokes down the toilet
When we would nag, she would get defensive...as I got older, I came to understand her addiction (I got hooked for 10 years myself). Then, back in January, she almost died at work. She was diagnosed with pulminary edema & further tests were needed. Well, already long story a little shorter, she ended up having triple bypass surgery in April. It was horrible - Thank God, she pulled through. Even though there are times when she wishes she could still smoke, it took open heart surgery to make her quit. She knows if she ever returns to smoking, she will die. Right now, she is not ready
Quitting would have been MUCH easier than what she is going through - she admits this now. Hind sight is 20/20 tho...

I know how you feel...You just wanna take them buy the throat and yell at them! Do you WANT to die!!!??!?!

But, I also know how fanatical Ive can get when I dive headfirst into another health project-running, tris, -or healthy eating. I used to be like 10g fat a day and the loudest evangelist you can imagine. BOY, is my face red, 100 lbs later...

But hey, like gotbeer recommended (at least the last one, and probably the one that will save your freindship! ) lead by example. Yur freinds will see you happy and healthy and more energetic, and say hey, maybe this CAN be done.

And see, shes coming around! Allright! Now be gentle!

J

I have a friend who completely converted along with his wife to Atkins. They emptied their cabinets of the old food then bought everything you could find of LC products including all the candy bars, cereals, low carb pasta, pizza crust. He never did induction and tells me his doctor does not think it is good because of supposed kidney damage from prior drug use. He is obviously overweight with a big overhanging stomach. After at least 8 months he has not lost a single lb but still loves Atkins. Problem is he eats tooooo much period. They eat all that Atkins junk which adds up carbs and calories. So he has been having problems with diabetes. But when you see him eat the truth comes out and he cheats too with real sugar temptations. The latest is he was down the shore on vacation and said he was walking on the boardwalk when he felt sick. He called his doctor and the doctor said go to the hospital right away. His glucose was over 400 so they put him on insulin for the first time. Well he tells me this story, says the diet was not working (which pissed me off)- I just know the way he eats and cheats especially on vacation - my big suspicion is that he cheated and that is why his glucose was over 400. But he denied it and said his pancreas was failing. Still - where did the glucose come at that sickness episode on the boardwalk if he did not cheat.

Can anyone tell me perhaps Karen- is there a way for your glucose to be up without cheating? He denies that he ate sugar - but then how else did his blood sugar go up. Put two and two together - he is known to cheat and vacation down the shore (Fudge, salt water taffy, icecream).

Maybe I am wrong - I only know from the past diabetics who kept eating sugar had high glucose levels and had continued problems. He is bummed now about taking shots - his doctor said he can come off it depending how he controls his diet! (This seems to back what I am saying - he is not being honest about what he is eating - if his doctor said diet can influence it)

I have hammered on him that he should lose weight to help with the diabetes. Strangest thing to have caused an Atkins convert but he can't lose weight because they can not control their eating (total calories) and his diabetes is worsening. I wish they would throw all those candy bars out! I have told him you don't do that stuff until after you have control of weight loss. I had success because I ignored all that stuff - now use some in maintenenace.

Very frustrating - he has to work it out - I am done. I will only be a boreass to him. I don't think he is being honest with me but that means nothing compared to his not being honest with himself and having to do insulin shots.

Starches - potatoes and such - can boost glucose levels even more rapidly than sugar. That is the point of the "glycemic index" link.

To Got Beer - yeah he knows it maybe it was french fries on the boardwalk. Who knows. I still maintain there must have been a sugar or carb input to boost the glucose in his blood unless there is some other mechanism at work that a diabetic can tell me about.

How can your blood glucose level go up if you are eating all low glycemic food?

Obviously he is cheating, but he might possibly be unaware of exactly how.

Tell him to keep a strict diary of everything he eats for a few weeks. Just that action might make HIM aware of what he is doing. If not, he might be simply making some mistakes .... eating something that he doesn't realize is high-carb. The diary should reveal that as well.