Hi minimeee,

Yes, I do believe that I've gotten much more vocal in the last year, at my husband's request (he's the talker, but wanted me to share my thoughts and feelings....OK...)! It is odd, and it is still difficult for me to be open and honest about how I feel, but I'm doing it because I now see the benefits of it. Unfortunately, obviously it's not always fun on the other side! I know because I've kind of "put up and shut up" for years, that's the way I was raised. I am much more relieved to be open, as uncomfortable as it can be, but I'm still not mean about it! I also still ask almost nothing of other people, preferring to do things myself, if I am capable.

So, here I am, more happy and open, and I get knocked back on my heels because I'm being myself....and I guess we'll see where it goes, because I don't really think a relationship can last if on person thinks the other is those things, and I certainly don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who thinks I'm cold and arrogant!

I understand how you feel. I was raised like that too. I still feel like a doormat sometimes, still struggle with feeling stupid, still allow people to make me feel that way sometimes. But as I approach my goals, I feel that way LESS.

You said "being myself". Who is that girl? Is it possible that you are changing who you are everyday as you lose weight? Is it possible you are becoming a new YOU? A better, thinner, more confident, loving, open person?

I am changing, but people generally have told me that I am happier, I laugh more, and I seem like I am a bit more social, not the opposite! :P I am making it a point to figure out exactly WHO I am, because I really don't know.....When I was young and thinner, I hid behind any number of things, activities, shutting up, stuff like that. Then, I hid behind my fat, and I was really a nobody, no one really looked at me, it was safe. Now, well, I am making more decisions based solely on how I think and feel, not what other people want. The funny thing about it is, when faced with a decision, even something like what radio station to listen to, I actually stop for a moment and ask myself, "Do I really want to listen to this/do this/say this? Is this something I'm putting up with because someone else wants it and I'm giving in? Do I want to say something about it?" I do this even when I'm ALONE! It kind of shocks me sometimes, that I am so trained to let eveyone else have their way, that I can't pick out music/groceries/activities, that I like, just for the sake that it's my own preference.

That's where I am in my process. Maybe he's so used to getting his own way all the time, he just assumes I like everything he likes/thinks/says, and he's so shocked that I have an opinion, he thinks any disagreement is arrogance/coldness....well.....too bad, I guess.