No offense, homegirl, but I still think that what we believe is attractive is very much based on societal norms. Attractiveness is not directly related to health. After all, some things women and men do for the sake of good looks can be dangerous to one's health -- body piercing, high heeled shoes, sun tanning and the like. There are cultures in which big really is beautiful. When I visited China last year, more than one man came up to me amazed that a woman could be that big, meaning that beautiful! I was embarrassed, but they thought they were complimenting me.

I am disgusted when people look down at me because of my size; when they assume I couldn't have a normal sex life; when they think I have a moral defect because I am fat. I've even been told that fat people shouldn't be pastors any more than alcoholics or pedophiles should be. They said that being overweight is a sign of moral and spiritual weakness.

No. I'm not fat because of any moral failing. I'm fat because of the genetic makeup of my physical self. I was fat since puberty - not because I was eating uncontrollably, but because my body has a different metabolism than, say, my husband who can eat anything and remain the same 147 pounds he's been since we were married 22 years ago.

I am not interested in losing weight to be "pretty;" I'm interested in being stronger and healthier. I want more energy to do the things in life I love to do.

When my daughter was about 5 or 6 years old she asked me if I thought she would be fat like me when she grew up. I told her to look at all the women and men in our family. Chances are she has inherited one of their body types. But what's important is not how you look, but how you take care of the body God gave you.

(She, btw, is 12 now, and is proud of my weight loss, but afraid she's going to lose the "pillowy" mom who is so comfortable for sleeping on and leaning against. Dad is too skinny and bony, she says.)

So, yes, I think it's good when the motivation comes from within, instead of from others wanting us to be something we're not.