I've been watching what I eat lately, occasionally indulging in fatty foods or sugar because its difficult when your friends want to go out for ice cream or pie, and they jokingly make fun of me when I decline. I have been semi-consistent in working out. But as summer is approaching I grow increasingly depressed that I cannot wear a bikini or tank tops. I can barely even wear t-shirts, I always have to make sure I am not lifting my arms. I never thought something like this could make me so depressed. I want to get intimate with my boyfriend, but AN has pretty much scarred me from any intimate relationships. Even though I see there are many other people like me in these posts. I feel like there's no hope for me. I am too embarrassed to go to my mother and ask to see the doctor. I hate that this will probably be with me for life. and I think of silly things like , "wow, no one is ever going to want to marry me." gah. so right now...I feel like I'm in this horrible deep deep pit of , depression.