That satire is great.

But seriously, have you ever met anyone who says "I am on the DASH Diet" ?
Me, never. And we all know people with high BP.

Maybe it is the best Unknown diet because it doesn’t work and doctors know that?

Last paragraph in its description...
"As for weight loss, you're advised to ask your doctor about how to best tailor your plan. Because DASH emphasizes so many healthful foods, it can easily support weight loss. Just move more and eat slightly less, says the NHLBI."

Yup...that's works every time. why the US is so slim and healthy since they designed it.