~Grav
Thanks for the kind word mate. Its a reassuring to know someone who is in the almost exact same boat as me. Thanks for the advice about sleep as well.

Me personally have accepted that I'll be single as well, but you know sometimes once in a blue moon, when all the planet lines up, you get that lonely feeling and wtf am I doing with my life vibe and tries to find your SO and get shot down multiple times? Yea, that was me all last week

Thanks again, I've read your journal and I can relate to most of it as well. Hear hear to "a chance"!

~mten2015
Thank you for the kind words. Good to know the destination that I'm heading to is not that gloom and doom.

~Nancy LC
Thank you, I will watch the ted talk after work

~bkloots
Thanks. I really love gray tabbies, my last one even had a white socks on its hand and feet. But alas, the place I'm currently living right now doesn't allow pets.

~Nancy LC & GreekRibs
Deep down I know its a fantasy. I do, I mean I realized for the majority of people there is no such thing as happily ever after, take my parents for example. Heck, before I turn 30, I was living in a foreign country and having so much fun that I don't even care about trying to find a girlfriend. But then I got sick and life became empty, and it feels like everything out there is trying to go against you. That's when I start to long for a connection. And you start fantasizing about this happily ever after thing with your SO, and try to latch on to any hope out there, or latching to any girl who is just trying to be nice to you.

In essence I guess I'm just trying to run away from the pain by band-aiding it with this fantasy of being in love and happy with your significant other. I know the root of my pain, but I'm to scared to face it I guess. *sigh*