THIS is why you are absolutely right to take charge.

I applaud all of your moves and yes, you not only have the right to do this, you have the OBLIGATION. If it means the grandmother has supervised visits, so be it. (Sounds like your husband has felt the sting of her "I'm always right" philosophy in his own life.)

If one of the children had a peanut allergy, would Grandma be buying them Payday bars "because they love them so!" When they get older and want to drink bourbon will Grandma be okay with that? People give in to their children's urge for treats because it's cheap and easy. But there are other cheap and easy ways to have fun and if Grandma needs a list, make her one. In all caps.

You can see how upset this made me, and they are not even my kids. Go Mama Grizzly Bear on the uncooperative all you want.