I've lost 35 pounds of the 190 that I need to lose, but I already feel changes, and to me, they are huge.

At my heaviest, 360, I would go to bed at night wheezing and sleeping on 3 big pillows, almost sleeping sitting up, to not feel like I was suffocating. I'd blame it on 'something flaring my asthma', but I knew it was my weight. My legs had become so big and so heavy and filled with fluid that I couldn't bend them. To get into bed at night, I'd have to swing them up into the bed. Same for getting into the car. At restaurants, at the end of a meal, I'd have to ask my family to not get up and just head for the door. I told them to wait until I "got my legs working". Because the pain from standing on them after sitting for awhile was just horrible, and I had to brace myself for that. If we went to the movie theater, where they have those new recliner seats, the buttons to work the recliner were always on the inner arm of the seat, and my hips would hit it, and everyone would look over as my seat went up and down all through the movie unintentionally because my hip kept hitting the buttons, and the slightest move would cause trouble.

I was scared because I wore the largest size of clothing I could find in my local stores, and the selection was limited at best, and those clothes were becoming too tight. I avoided seeing the doctor for normal sick visits because I knew I'd have to get on the scale, and my doctor would see how much my weight had increased since my last blood pressure/blood glucose recheck visit. I felt judged in public, whether I actually was or not. I believed any snicker from behind me while waiting in line was meant for me, whether it actually was or not.

Now? I sleep on 2 pillows, with no wheezing at all. I bend my knee and climb up into my bed (I'm a tad on the short side, and my bed is tall). I do have some fluid still in my legs, but it's mainly near my ankles and lower shins. I'll talk to my doctor during my next visit to see what she suggests to help with that.

I still fight a battle with the recliner buttons at the movie theater, even having lost 35 pounds, but I can get up from that recliner or a restaurant table without having to 'get my legs working' first. Sure, it's still achy, but at least I can move and put on a brave face and walk.

My clothes are the same size, but they do fit looser. They're not stretched tight anymore. I'm not afraid to see the doctor if I happen to come down with a cold or have a health concern that I'd like to talk to her about.

I can now do some exercising, which is helpful as well. So much has changed. I feel like I'm being given back my life and mobility, and for that, I'm so happy and thankful. I can't wait to see what lays ahead.