We take a middle of the road approach. No wheat because my husband has celiac and no soda (this is new, because my mom loves to give them soda) but we do let them have full-fat sugared ice cream. I would rather them have that than anything SF, but it is a treat and not everyday. If they spent every day at my mother's I would get more strict and make more of their food to take (low-sugar homemade ice cream, etc.). With my inlaws we have the opposite problems - lots of scrutinizing of what they eat focused on low-fat.

Janine