I am very sad to hear that you had to go through this. You sound like an incredibly kind and loving person and there is no way you deserved it. But sometimes jerks like your ex feed off the kindness of women like us, only to betray us in the end.

One thing that struck me was when you mentioned you told him you were losing weight so you could be "sex on legs" for him. When you tell men stuff like this it makes them believe that you are living only to impress them. Thus, they feel they have a hold on you can treat you whatever way they want. As a result, maybe he saw you as someone who couldn't get anyone better than him (which is NOT true, btw) and felt that no matter what he dished out to you, you would accept it. When you bend over backward to please a man (ie: lose weight for him to desire you) he loses interest and finds another woman who is less emotionally dependant on him.

So, when you find your next guy, please don't tell them that you are losing weight for them or are trying to please them in anyway. Believe me, I speak from experience! This will only set you up for heartache. Lose weight for yourself and *only* yourself. And in the future, let a guy call you and tell you all the wonderful self-improvements he's doing to impress YOU. Not the other way around. You deserve that kind of bliss, girl (and you will have it). Any guy worth your time will want to impress you whether you weigh 120lbs or 450lbs. Your appearance will make no difference to him.

And, btw, any guy who can't see past your butt is only blinded by the fact that his head is thrust up his own butt. Don't put up with that kind of stupidity