I'm bad at making up titles, too. Most of the time I just leave it blank.

I started not to post anything after I read your post because I don't want to say the wrong thing, say something that makes you feel worse. But I couldn't just let you think that you're alone.

I can't tell you how many times I've done exactly the same things you describe. Sometimes what's in my head is so miserable that I turn to food as my comforting friend. It seems to be the only thing (except the dog) that always makes me feel better - until knowing "I've done it again" makes me feel worse. Sometimes food feels like the enemy. But it isn't. It's just fuel to keep my body going.

I'm 10 years ahead of you in age and I've tried all my life to be "normal." I've yo-yoed with the best of em'! One day a switch clicked in my brain and I swore to myself (there's nobody else to tell) that I wouldn't be riding on a scooter in the grocery store. I'd be walking. It isn't easy, but I'm doing my best and that's all any of us can do.

Please look around the forum and find a WOE that suits you - and you can always change. Since I arrived here a short time ago I have. I started with Atkins, now I'm staying in ketosis and doing IF. I've lost weight for the first time in 6 years.

I'm so glad you came to this forum, as there are some of the nicest people on the Planet here. And you're right, "The only time we have is now."