Perimenopause and menopause were by far, bar none, the worst times of my life, spanning roughly a 12-year period of my life. This, after a life time of the the most painful, most debilitating cramps every month. Talk about insult upon injury. Maybe the worst part is that no one ever tells you it's going to be like this. I began thinking I had just turned into the meanest b*$&# on earth. I barely recognized myself anymore.

Add to this a slow but sure weight gain that I couldn't seem to stop except for short period of extreme control over diet and exercise. If I lost focus for just one second, the poundage came back with a vengeance and bringing it's friends to set up shop on my body.

It seriously debilitated personal and job relationships. It really felt like a demon had possessed me and I have very little control over my emotions or actions. I know this sounds extreme, but I was a pretty normal person before menopause, then BAM! evil witch took over.

So the fallout is that at least the hot flashes are less, but I now am at the highest weight of my life and thoroughly depressed about it. But even now, I refuse to give up. I want a functioning body back! I want a normal life back! I don't know how this is going to go, but I'll just get up every day and keep trying. Feels pretty hopeless at this point.