I know exactly what you're talking about. I've gone through different phases of sadness. For me, it was saying good-bye to the old me. It's really hard to do! That's why I'm a huge supporter of the "inner stuff". There has to be balance between the outside and the inside. I was afraid that all my good qualities would fade away as my shape changed. Would I still have presence, be funny, be a role model in my proffession? I was so comfortable with using my size as an anchor as well as a boundary. What would happen?

I still read dessert books and about a year ago I remember becoming overwhelmed with sadness thinking that this was no longer in my life. I could look, make and appreciate the artistry, but that was where it stopped.

Saying good bye can take a while, and that's OK. You have to be patient and gentle with yourself. Above all, you have to listen.

I feel sorrow for people who think they'll lose weight and their life will change. They will be fabulous, sexy, loving, in charge, poised, forgiving, admirable... It goes the other way...change your life and you'll lose weight.

Why wait to be those qualities? They have nothing to do with being fat.

Karen