Quote:

the knowledge that I could "cheat" on a weekend and still manage to lose weight over the week made small temptations easier to accept. Soon weekend "cheats" turned to week cheats, and so on. I also stopped tracking my progress (or regression) My self image was always of my new thinner version,

That's exactly what happned to me too the last few months.

A wake up call I had recently, like 2 weeks ago, was that I thought I had done so good, losing almost 40 pounds and if anyone in my family hasn't seen me then surely they've heard about it. But I went to visit my sister in Phoenix and brought my video camera to record HER. She wanted to record me to, so I let her thinking I'd just erase it later! When I saw that tape I was amazed that I was STILL FAT! That all that work to get 40 pounds off was seemingly for nothing and I wasn't as thin as my mind's eye saw. hmmmm.

I just watched that tape again tonight and...I didn't erase it. I'll watch it again if I have to. I just keep thinking, there's the girl with the cute face, pretty eyes and .....fat body! eeeesh.

. Whenever I see a new number on the scale, especially recently, my initial reaction is excitement!! But there's another part of me that is sad for some reason.

Teri, I get a "weird" feeling too, but I never equated it to sadness that the weight is gone. It's more that I don't trust myself to keep it off and a fear that I'll have to look at that same number again some day as the scale climbs back up. I want to peel the numbers off the scale dial once they've gone out of sight - like to say they can't be used again once they've been passed on the downslide!

I kind of don't trust myself again, I've been on induction now since Sunday and it's going as good as it did when I first started in July. I feel focused and I'm not allowing any funky foods, trying to be really careful of craving causing foods for me. But I feel like I'm living life on the edge waiting to fall off, waiting for permission to eat some sugar. Just writing it makes me think, hmmm, a brownie, that sounds good. For tonight though, I won't. I'm signing off right now and I'm going to watch Jay Leno, have some water, and read for a few minutes. I love this thread!