I gained 100 lbs after being sexually attacked coming out of a gym at work 20 years ago. That day I had stepped on the scale, so proud of the fact that after months of running in the morning and working out in the afternoon, I had finally hit 118lbs, I looked GOOD and I was a very happy camper.

After the assault, I gave up exercise. The weight crept on slowly, my portions got much bigger. I prided myself on never touching any fast food ever, I was the one eating the salads, real food. Well let me tell you, you can get real fat on 'real' food. Steaks, mashed potatoes, bread, pasta. Years of failed attempts at exercising, I actually hadn't dieted much at all.

Fast forward 20 years, what a waste of time huh? 2 failed marriages, a cross-country move, virtual invisability by men in general, no one wants to date a fat girl, I had a bad attitude and didn't care.

So what started me up again? I scared myself, started bingeing on Cookie Dough Ice Cream, literally 4 of them on a weekend, this was my 'wake up' call.

I had tried to do low-carb, but after losing about 25lbs, and people started noticing and commenting, I strangely sabatoged myself. Over 3 years, I did this several times. Enough counseling about fear of losing the weight and the correlation of being assaulted again was strong.

I am better, I had a month of not losing weight, I didn't sabatoge, I simply 'paused' I guess, and I'm back on track and headed down on the scales. I know when I lose this weight it will be for GOOD.