Well, time to return to this. I fell of the smoke-free wagon for about 10 months.
But I'm back on. I got this, this time. It's been over 2 months and I haven't slipped once.
I don't get the 'just one' demon anymore. Now when I get a craving, it's all out war - which is easier to fight! I get the "you enjoyed it, let's just stop all this nonsense and get back to it" - which isn't really true. I don't like freezing my tukkus off in winter outside to feed the addiction. I HATE the way it smells. I hate so many things about smoking. I just never knew how to function as an adult without that 'out.' The magic way to start or leave a conversation, without causing a problem. The entire social aspect had me messed up. I'm over most of that now.
I quit using Chantix, which I'll talk about in another post. That stuff is... yeah.