So my lowcarb journal was a great place for me to vent and whine about getting back on low carb and the challenges that entailed. While I am not quite back on the lowcarb wagon quite yet (want at least a week smoke free first) I am planning on getting there soon. I do not want to fill up my low carb journal with a ton of nicotine addiction crap so I am hoping that no one will mind my little side "journal" here in the quit smoking section.

So today was my first day back on the quit smoking boat. I have been smoke free for up to 10 months in the past and sorely miss that. I can not tell you how long I have been smoking this time...since February...but I think I quit for a bit maybe 3 months, I just can not remember. I am quitting "smart" turkey as whyquit likes to call it, but even knowing what I have learned from that site I hurt. I am so tempted to go home right now and steal a smoke from my honey, I know he does not mean to tempt me so strongly but buying me a pack when I am quitting is just mean.

I have been working all day so I am tired, my defences are low and it is time to face my biggest challenge of the day. How can I get through a dungeon (World of Warcraft) without my faithful friend to accompiny me outside to celebrate after we beat the big baddy? How can I cuddle and then watch honey go outside to spend time with our close friend when I will not go with him? I know intellectually that nicotine is nothing more than a crutch that is slowly sucking the life out of me as I suck the smoke out of it...but remembering that in a moment of "need" is so much harder than you would think.

For some reason being at work isn ot so bad. I can distract ymself so easily. But now it is time to go home and I am so scared that I am going to screw up again like I have the last week of trying. Sorry for the length but I just needed someone to talk to.