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Yes, it’s official: carbohydrate is back on the menu.
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It's never been off.
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At Bread Ahead, the artisan bread-maker in Borough Market, London, they have gone from giving bread-making classes to 24 people a week to 300 a week, with places booked up to a year in advance.
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So people can learn to make the same crappy bread they can get cheap at the shop? BS, maybe they just wanna make better bread, so they learn to make it themselves.
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Meanwhile, from Al Dente Pasta Bar in Norwich to the Pasta Hut in Plymouth, every other new restaurant that has opened over the past month seems to have pasta at its core. At Passo, a new all-day Italian in Old Street in London, you can load up on orecchiette with octopus ragu, and pappardelle with wild boar and port sauce; at Flour & Grape pasta and wine bar in Bermondsey they have eight pasta dishes on the menu and precious little else. And have you seen the queues outside Pastaio, Stevie Parle’s new Italian diner in Soho? People are happy to wait up to three hours — yes, three hours — for a plate of handmade rigatoni in tomato sauce or Genoese-style pesto, which comes with pasta and potatoes.
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It's been like this, and growing, ever since we figured out how to grow boatloads of wheat (and other grains). Nothing new here.
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I wish I hadn’t avoided pasta for 15 years
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I wish I'd avoided wheat for the past 40 years. Pfft.
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Then along came the Atkins diet.
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It’s so binary. Protein: yes. Carbs: no.
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Idjit.
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The message spread and in 2010, for the first time, sales of white bread — which have historically tracked population growth — fell by 1 per cent, while sales of brown bread increased by 6 per cent and seeded products by 9 per cent.
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So, you bought shares, now you're pissed and wanna change things around with some feel-good BS? Boo hoo.
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For years I denied myself anything approaching “comfort food” and never ate the kids’ leftover fries.
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Cuz you eat as well as possible, but don't care what your kids eat? Idjit.
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“Well,” Giles said, shrugging, “this is how much pasta an Italian would eat, not a stoned English student with the munchies. This won’t make you fat.”
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Yes, it will, only less so. Idjit.
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Once it was finished I felt a bit sad that there was no more, which is often the problem with pasta, but I thought about it and decided that, no, that was probably enough dinner. The next morning I didn’t weigh 400 stone. We had it again the next week, and the next. I did not put on weight.
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Liar. Except for the sad part. I truly deeply genuinely believe you when you say you were sad there wasn't any more.
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Alessandro Savelli, one of the founders of Pasta Evangelists, explains that the Italians who are slim eat carbohydrate — just not very much of it. “Italian women will probably eat pasta every day,” he says, “but in Italy pasta is usually eaten as a primo, it’s only a modest amount. And I would say that in the UK there is usually about 50 per cent too much sauce added. In Italy you would never, ever just have pasta for your dinner.”
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Italians must be smart, maybe smarter than you.
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Perhaps, I thought, the problem had never been with the carbs. Perhaps it had just been how much of them I had been eating — and with what.
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Da hell, brain fart?
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Ayela Spiro, a nutrition science manager at the British Nutrition Foundation, sets me straight on a few things. “Weight gain typically results from eating more calories than your body uses,”
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...wisdom doesn't last very long...
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“Most processed foods are almost impossible to stop eating.”
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Pasta. The single most processed food on the planet. You can stop eating it whenever you want, it's not one of those.
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Jo Saunders thinks that making carbohydrate the bad guy is too simplistic. “There are so many other things going on in a diet other than just how much carbohydrate is taken on,” says the Bant-registered nutritionist at cookingthemhealthy.com, which specialises in women’s health.
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One name to put in your little black book, with a note "avoid".
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“For example, if you find at around kids’ teatime you can’t stay off the children’s food, just eat with them and make that your evening meal. That would give you a long fast until breakfast the next day and there are some important biochemical processes that can’t happen unless you’re in a fasting state.
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See what I mean? Avoid avoid avoid.
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“I also think the whole debate about carbohydrate has moved on and it’s gut bacteria we need to focus on. If you’re just cutting out carbs you will mess around with your gut health and that in turn will upset your digestion and hormones.”
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Hormones like insulin? That thing that goes bonkers when you eat pasta? Yeah, we've messed enough with insulin, thank you.
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And that in turn, says Georgia Lennard, a naturopathic nutritionist from beyondbalance.co.uk, will have the opposite effect from the one you intended. “A very low-carb diet is do-able for about two to three years, depending on the type of person you are, but it’s not sustainable in terms of losing or maintaining weight. Without some good carbohydrate you won’t digest effectively.” In other words, the eat-all-you-want protein diet will work for so long, then it will start to work against you.
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Good carbs like the single most processed food on the planet - pasta? How is it even possible for a thing to be good for a while, then turn bad? What's the mechanism? Does it have a mind of its own, decides out of the blue to mess aroud with things after it's been only helpful for years? GTFO, idjit.
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I certainly found that up until about the age of 30 (I am now 37), as long as my diet was high-fat, high-meat and low-sugar I was doing OK. Then, past 35, I realised that I could no longer chow down on endless stews and roasts and bacon and eggs and still be within my ideal weight range.
Age definitely has got a lot to do with it, Saunders says. “For women, as they enter the pre- or peri-menopausal stage of life, their metabolism goes down and thyroid function is affected — a certain level of good carbohydrate is required to make the thyroid hormone.”
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Unrelated to diet. About carbs being required to make the thyroid hormone - BS. Iodine.
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Let’s not get carried away
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You mean with the idiocy, the stupidity, the fallacy and the lies? Yep, totally agree, let's not get carried away with that.
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