When I was married I was in my early 20's and trying to conceive. I had always had problems with my periods, even though I wasn't overweight during most of that time. I had non-ovulatory cycles. My cycles are not 28 days, they are more like 35 to 40 days. After several years with no success my doctor put me on Provera to regulate my cycles and Clomid to start my ovulation. I had 2 miscarriages, it was devastating and I still grieve the loss.
My marriage began to fall apart, maybe it was the stress, maybe it was my mood swings, I don't really know. I felt like I was losing my mind at the time. Looking back it's just a blur of unhappiness.

After I turned 30 I started to lose hope, I was beginning to feel that my fate was not to be a mother. I continued to meet people who were not interested in having a child, especially with someone struggling with fertility.
I have thought about trying to conceive on my own, with sperm donors but I never wanted to be a single mother. I know that it happens to a lot of people, but usually it's not planned. And when you aren't married and you talk about trying to concieve, most doctors just look at you with confusion and concern.

I'm so happy for women who struggle with fertility and end up with children. I know how devastating infertility can be. I felt like I wasn't a woman, I couldn't do that one BASIC thing all women are supposed to be able to do. I felt like such a failure. What joy you must feel when you finally bring your child into this world. I'm very happy for all of you