Kay, I can easily gain 8 pounds on a weekend-long cheat, so I assure you it's easily possible to gain from cheating.

You mentioned in passing that you have depression. I can 'hear' it in what you're writing (I have it myself, so I'm attuned to it). This is a big deal. Depression can make it extremely difficult to keep your weight down, and some people crave carbs terribly from it (like me sometimes).

More importantly though, it affects your attitude towards your weight. During my last episode, at 125 pounds, I cried constantly about how fat and gross I was and wouldn't go out because I was too ugly. My depression is now in remission, and I've gained almost 20 pounds. But I don't care. I mean, I care and I'm trying to take care of myself, but I'm not a miserable blob. I still feel kinda cute. It's not absolute.

I don't mean to be patronizing- weight management is excruciating and hideously difficult a lot of the time. That's why we're all here. I'm just worried that you're seeing the struggle through the lens of a dangerous illness. Does being off the pill make the depression worse? If so, that may be more important than any effects on your weight.