I hate always thinking about my weight before I do something that "normal" people take for granted - will I fit on the roller coaster or in the plane seat? Can I make it through that narrow aisle in the store without knocking something over? Can I fit in that restaurant booth? Do I weigh too much to take my son in a kayak with me? (this last one really hurt - we went to Puerto Rico last fall and wanted to go kayaking in the bioluminescent bay - supposed to be a really cool experience. Our kids are getting pretty big now, but they're not old enough to paddle their own kayak, so my husband would have to take one, I would have to take one, and one would have to ride with the guide. But I had to call up the company and ask the weight limit - and just as I feared, I couldn't make the weight limit with any one of my kids, so we couldn't go I hate the fact that my whole family had to miss out on such a cool experience because of me and my weight )

I hate feeling like I'm taking up more than my share of space. Anywhere I go I always feel like I'm in the way - always apologizing for just being there. I have just as much right to be there as anyone else, but I always feel like I have to say "sorry - am I in your way?"

I hate that the best I ever hear from my husband (on the rare occasion that he actually comments on my apprearance) is that I look "nice". I don't want to look "nice", dammit - I may be in my 40's, but in my mind I'm still young enough that I want to look HOT.

I hate feeling like no matter what I wear or how much effort I put into hair, makeup, etc - I STILL don't look good because of my weight. Seems like a waste of effort to dress nicely and pamper and groom myself, if I'm still going to look awful (or at best, just "nice", as I said above) because of my size. So a lot of times I just don't bother.


And as someone else already stated on this thread, I hate how my weight always makes me feel like a failure.