I'm writing this because all of us here have been subjected to it and have perhaps unintentionally said this to someone. Hopefully everyone knows not to tell someone who is heavier that they should lose weight or not eat something. This is especially pertinent if the person one is addressing is a stranger or simply an acquaintance. However, I want to talk about some situations where this issue may be different but the approach ought to be the same.

1) You have been low-carbing and feel great. You have lost weight or even hit your goal. If someone asks you about it, you may want to share your success. However, please don't give advice to someone who doesn't ask. I understand the urge to give the advice, when I see people at grocery stores buying sugar and "healthy" low fat foods. But please, leave it alone. All you'll achieve is guilt for them and probably have them dislike you. People need to come to terms with their choices on their own and will seek out information when needed.


2) Someone you know has lost a lot of weight. Don't tell them, "you are so skinny" or especially "you're losing too much weight". You have no idea what is going on with their bodies.

I have been getting a lot of this second type of concern from friends who have known me at a heavier weight. One even suggested he was worried I had cancer (!). Meanwhile I'm at an extremely healthy weight for my height, exercise 4x a week and doctors are ecstatic with my bloodwork. But every time someone says I'm too thin, I wonder if I'm slipping back into an eating disorder and begin to scrutinize my body again.

Ironically, when I was 18 and at this weight or lower, people fat shamed me mercilessly because I was bigger than everyone else around me. So as you can see, aesthetics are relevant and widely varied.

All of us know healthy choices are better than carelessness, though willpower and intention differs across the board. It is concerning when a family member is making themselves unwell with their diet--in this case, think of a productive and sensitive way to approach them about it. But shame and "concern" doesn't do much to help people you don't know well, it only embarrasses and hurts them.

Food and health is personal. Just take care of your own and that's really enough for now.