I am sorry for all your troubles. You are already at a perfectly healthy weight. If you never lost another pound you would be fine. Even gaining a few pounds would not be the end of the world. My advice for you is that you try to change your mindset about your weight. It sounds like you might need some professional help to do that if that is something you can access. Even though people often don't believe that they can change how they think about themselves it is indeed possible. You can't control the people in your life but it is possible, often with help, to change your own mind and behavior. I wish you better things in the new year. Damaging your health will not make anything better.

Jean