You have to wrap your mind around it and get motivated. You don't have that much to lose. Forget the mess ups - we're all human and make mistakes. Keep thinking about how nice you will look at 130. Post some pictures of yourself at that weight on your fridge. Start a journal so you can keep track of what you eat and your thoughts. That has helped me a lot. I also have someone at work that is doing this and that helps too.
Start a journal and stop by mine so I'll know how to find yours. I'll be glad to be your "buddY".
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!! I believe in you. Best wishes.