Hello guys and gals....here's a fun read I just found on yahoo and thought you all might appreciate! ( With the exception of her potato comment...what was she thinking? hahaha)

Muse


Turn Down Dessert without Being a Drag by Kathleen DesMaisons These tips combine practical advice with humor and are especially helful when you're trying to avoid alcohol and dessert! They truly offer wonderful options for saying "no" in a new way.

1. Matter-of-factly request a seltzer when the host asks what you would like. Throw a slice of lime in it. That way it will look like what everyone else is drinking and they'll leave you alone.

2. If there's no seltzer, throw your lemon or lime slice in a glass of water with ice.

3. Throw your lemon or lime slice at anybody who inquires about your strange eating habits.

4. Deftly turn the conversation so you direct it back to the person who is inquiring about your "diet." "How come you don't eat sugar?" they ask. "I have found I feel better," you reply. "What about you? Are there any foods that you don't eat cause you feel better without them?" (People love to talk about themselves!)

5. Disappear when dessert is served. Go to the bathroom for an especially long visit. Drop by the TV room and instantly get interested in whatever show the kids are watching. Suddenly develop the need to go out to your car and get that evening wrap because you are cold. Studiously start removing those tiny little balls from your polyester evening gown.

6. When dessert is served say, "Thanks, but the main course was so delightful I filled up on it. But I would love a cup of tea." (Hosts love to please their guests and will run to get whatever the guest asks for. So keep them busy and help them do their job as hosts.)

7. Be honest. Of course, you will become the center of attention and people will instantly feel guilty about the dessert they are about to put into their mouth and hate you for it! Expect glares and wicked, covert looks behind your back. Shrug them off.

8. Tell your partner/friend/spouse that you will need help at the party. Instruct him or her that when the dessert comes, it is their job to stick to you like glue and divert the conversation away from you -- even if they have to do the macarena without music or recite the Gettysburg Address.

9. Choose to eat dessert and feel miserable. Then let everybody know how you feel by having a blood sugar/beta-endorphin crash right in the middle of the living room. They'll never serve you dessert again. They'll never serve you again, period. But who needed them as friends anyway?

10. You could forewarn the hostess, that you have some discomfort in this area. Could you bring a dessert that is allowable to you but bring enough for everybody? Could the hostess say she made it so attention is off you? You can then smirk, when the guests eat the dessert and gag because it is so, well, sugar-free.

11. Write to Miss Manners' advice column and send your letter overnight mail. She will know how to advise a guest in this potentially volatile situation. Avoiding conflict at dinner parties is paramount to a successful, well-mannered evening, wouldn't you agree?

12. Don't go to the party.

13. At 8 PM announce that you have to get back to the facility, nightly check-in is mandatory by 8:30 as sugar addicts in your program need to be locked up for the night.

14. Go tho the party virtually. Get the latest "See You See Me" computer program and appear on screen at appropriate moments. Tell them it's a new work project the boss asked you to do. Virtually eat dessert with them.

15. Wear a paper bag on your head. That is sure to get more attention than a little ol' diet thing.

16. Bring enough copies of this book so that when somebody asks you to elaborate, you can put a book in their hand and walk away. Tell them the discussion group on brain chemistry will begin after dinner.

17. Wear a sign that says, "I do Kathleen's plan, wanna do it with me?"

18. As everyone else eats dessert, smoothly pull a baked potato out of your evening bag and ask someone to pass the salt and pepper, please.

19. Start boring them with personal stories of the difference between a beta-endorphin crash, a serotonin drop, and low blood sugar shakes. When their eyes glaze over you have created a safe space for yourself at the party. They will avoid you, of course, but the attention is off you.

20. Pre-print cocktail napkins with the sugar/carbohydrate content of everything being served that night (you'll need to coordinate with the hostess on this one). Then trip lightly from guest to guest informing them what they're doing to their pancreas, using the napkin as a visual aid.

21. Invite Oprah. No one will even notice you're there.




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