Thanks for all the replies. with what you guys have said, I feel like I've reached that point of I cant eat that, etc because I know what it will do to me. I've been there before. Gotten sick, gained all the weight back, tried to start over again and again. I do see people eating things they shouldn't and I want to scream at them sometimes. I feel better about the way I'm eating most of the time. There are still foods I miss, that I miss the taste of. I don't know how to get past that. And I realize that it's only food and food that is not good for me. But it is hard for me to come to the realization that I may never eat some things again. I think I saw a pack of Oreos at the store the other day and was just like, oh I remember what those taste like! It's been 10 months!

I still read labels and worry about carbs, though I'm not counting so much, I still read everything. That just keeps weighing on me. And while I know I'm better off in many regards I'm envious of others that never think twice about what goes in their mouths.