Wow, you guys! Thank you so much for starting this thread. I'm a long time lurker and have only posted a couple of times, but I just had to respond to this thread. I have been at my wits end the last couple of days and this thread answered my prayers.
I have gone off and on Atkins no less than 8 times in the last year, and never for more than 10 days at a time. Each time I go off plan it is because of " a holiday" or "just a bite" and it is weeks of fighting to start again. I knew I was sabotaging myself, but i couldn't figure out why. I kept trying so hard to figure it out. I want to be healthy, I want to be fit, so why do I keep tripping myself? After reading this thread I thought about it long and hard and it came to me.
All through my childhood and teen years I was bright and made good grades and everyone expected so much from me. My English teacher swore I'd write the next great American novel, and everyone expected me to do something important with my life, but after high school I got involved with a loser and skipped starting college. Then I left the loser and met my wonderful husband, but still didn't go to college. I started a couple of small businesses in my early twenties, but was never hugely successful. Then about 3 years ago I got sick and was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrom and Fibromyalgia. It was completely debilitating and stopped my life dead in it's tracks. I struggled to do basic household chores and just to keep our life in order. My symptoms are better than they were, and I have found research that suggests that my CFS and Fibro may be linked to a candida infection. So basically, stick with a LC diet and supplements and I could be healthy and thin again within a year if I stick with it. Which brings me to the sabotage. I think the reason I am sabotaging myself is because I felt like I was failing at my life before i got sick and now that I'm sick, no one really expects anything from me anymore and if I get healthy and well again, people will start to expect things from me again, and what if I fail again. What if I let everyone, myself included down again? What if I get healthy and still make nothing of my life? This was a HUGE revelation to me. I honestly hadn't even consciously thought about any of that until I read this thread. Now that I've thrown the curtains open on my fears I can deal with them.
Sorry this was sooooo long, I was so happy to finally have answers and I wanted to share with people who could understand.
Thanks to everyone!
Lexi