That's my goal, to once again be a Hot Chicky Babe by my 40th Birthday.

Let me bore you all with my lifetime's exercise story first. I was always slim growing up, so exercise wasn't important to me. In high school I played soccer, but I was always a wimp exercise wise. In college I did a little weights, a little running, nothing important. I got married at 20, weighed 112 pounds and was very very slim.

I gained weight right away when first married, but nothing important. I got up to 120 and looked good. I started going to the gym on the Air Force base with a girlfriend, we started buying Muscle and Fitness Mags. I've always had a fascination with muscles since I was young. In high school I read Arnold Schwarzeneggars biography and had a calendar from him, where I used to draw pictures of his muscles.

Over the next few years I did a lot of weight training and had a very very nice figure. But I never worked out hard enough to get BIG muscles, plus my body type isn't like that (though I know my legs can get big). I even went to the Mr. Universe contest in Belgium and got to see my favorite, Bob Paris, compete.

I did weights up to the week before my 2nd daughter was born and hit the gym a week after. I never broke the 150 mark pregnant with her.

So what happened you ask? I don't know....when I moved once again I didn't join a gym. I was pregnant with a 3rd child and this one wrecked havok with my body. I got up to 165 with him, and after he was born and I lost the initial baby weight, I gained weight back up to 165, weird huh.

I held that weight for a few years when I finally joined the local Gold's Gym on Jan 1, 1998 (my son was 4 and a half).

By April I was down 20 lbs from major exercise alone. I wasn't dieting. In April my husband passed away and one thing I knew was that I had to use exercise to keep myself sane. I was afraid of gaining. I worked so hard and also would go out running for an hour. My body is so incapable of running, but the pain from the running would take away the pain in my heart, at least for a short while.

By December I was down to 120 lbs on the grief diet and exercise plan (photos in my web page link).

From that point on I've become a yoyoer. I've been so inconsistent with exercise, basically because I don't enjoy it much. My goal now is to learn to enjoy it again and make my body happy.

Thanks for reading my story....time to take a quick shower and plan on hitting the gym.